


Only One You Need

by kyungscultleader



Category: SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, I started this when I was young, M/M, Teacher-Student Relationship, and make sure Jonghyun is respectful af considering his position of power, now that I'm older I'm trying to make it the least creepy, pls don't read if you aren't into that, student key, teacher jonghyun, underage for a while but then Kibum turns 18 which is legal age in my country
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-10 16:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17429492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyungscultleader/pseuds/kyungscultleader
Summary: Key likes Jonghyun. Jonghyun likes Key. It should be simple, shouldn't it? But it's not, because Key is a seventeen year old high school student, and Jonghyun is his twenty-eight year old teacher.





	1. 01

It started off like any other day for seventeen-year-old Kim Kibum. His alarm blared early in the morning waking him from his peaceful sleep. If he wasn't getting up for school, he was getting up for work. Holidays meant nothing to him, so when he got up this morning, on the first day of his senior year at school, he changed into his blazer, tie and button up shirt for school instead of his white and red apron for his job at the diner. He buttoned up his shirt and did up his tie, sliding the blazer gracefully onto his petite shoulders. He pulled up his black skinny jeans and tied up his old Doc Martens – his mother had bought them for him about two years back, and there wasn't another item he treasured as much. Once he was fully dressed, he started to fix up his black hair. When he was happy with his appearance, he grabbed his school books and pencil case, double-checking to make sure he had everything. He slung his bag over his right shoulder and grabbed an apple out of the refrigerator.

“Note to self: buy food.” He mumbled and closed the near-empty fridge.

“Goodbye, umma!” he called out as he grabbed his iPod off the kitchen bench, he knew she wouldn't answer but that didn't bother Key too much. He knew she heard him and that's all that mattered.

He picked up his iPod and pressed shuffle before popping in his headphones, turning up the volume of Wonder Girls’ song Like This and ignoring the world. He groaned internally looking up at the dark storm clouds that were, on most days, covering the Seoul sky. He hurried as he walked to school and hoped to any and every god that it didn’t rain. It seemed, though, that today at least, wishes were not horses because he’d barely made it down the street before the thunder clapped and he felt small droplets of cold water fall down his cheek. He groaned again – this time audibly – and clutched his bag closely to his chest, as if that would keep him warm and dry.

It didn’t.

The city was busy, but no one took any notice of the boy walking in the freezing cold rain. Then again, that was the way it always was, wasn't it? Kibum - or Key, as he preferred - was always alone and unnoticed. He wasn't top of his class, but he had good, consistent grades, so the teachers paid no attention to him. He wasn't popular, but he didn't exactly mesh well with other students, leaving him alone and friendless.

He didn't have time for friends, anyway. He was always working so he'd never get a chance to spend any real time with them; who would want such an absent friend? No one, he concluded all on his own.

He was walking past a nearly flooded parking lot when a car stopped before him. A window was wound down and the driver poked his head out. Key had to admit, he was cute. A little too old for him, yes, but still cute. His hair was short and a dark, rich chocolate colour that matched his round eyes. His lips looked soft and his skin looked perfect. He even had a sharp, strong jaw that had Kibum internally drooling. Even though he had to be in his late twenties, he could pass as a model – well, if he didn’t have a concerned frown on his face.

“Hey,” the driver called out to him, “its pouring down out here. Do you need a ride?” he asked.

Key was hesitant to answer. Seoul may seem all happy and perfect to the outside eye, but he knew all too well how dangerous it could really be. This guy may be hot, but he wasn't stupid. He knew not to trust a random person who invites you into his car.

“Um, no, I’ll be okay,” the black-haired boy told him with a nod and began to walk again, only to have the guy drive slowly beside him.

“Are you sure? You could get sick,” He said. Key stopped walking and turned to him again.

“Really. I'm fine, but thank you anyway,” he replied, trying not to think about how warm and comforting his car seemed. It'd been so long since Key had been in a car, public buses aside. The driver sighed and turned to reach into the back seat. When he was done shuffling around, he held an umbrella out of the window to pass to the young boy. The latter grabbed it and looked at it, wondering two things. One; why had a stranger given him an umbrella? And two; why did he have one if he was driving?

“What is this?” he asked since it was the first thing that came to mind. He looked at the younger boy strangely.

“It’s an umbrella,” He said, obviously. Key rolled his eyes at the man.

“I mean what's it for?”

“Well, you open it up and it stops the rain from falling on you,” Key huffed in annoyance. “Okay, okay, I just thought you looked like you could use it if you won’t accept a ride,”

“I told you, I'm okay,” Kibum said and started to pass it back but the driver just smirked.

“Too bad,” He said and drove away. Key looked at the car driving off into the distance, and then at the umbrella, secretly thankful of the perfect stranger.

 

 

 

 

When he reached the school, the first thing Key did was head over to the head office to get his new timetable. He pulled a face when he saw that he hadliterature studies first thing. He frowned in confusion when he saw the name ‘Mr Kim’ under ‘Literature’. He must’ve been new because the only Mr Kim at this school was old, half-deaf and taught Economics; he could barely string two sentences together without stopping mid-way to reword them. There was no way he was going to teach Lit.

The rest of his classes for the day consisted of maths, English, history and computer sciences. He headed over to his locker and put his unneeded books into it, followed by the stranger’s umbrella. Once he was ready, he walked to the his first class of the day. He made a beeline for the solo desk in the back corner of the classroom. He was early, so the room was mostly empty save for the two girls giggling between themselves on the other side of the room. This Mr. Kim hadn't turned up yet, even as the room began slowly filling with students. Key just sat there on his own and secretly listening to bits and pieces of other peoples conversations. Most of it was gossip, but some of it was very amusing.

So far, he’d heard that the new teacher was a total hottie, a drug dealer who lives on the street and has fake credentials, an old dude and gay. He shook his head, the year hadn’t even begun and there were already rumours circulating the school.

“Uh, alright then,” a male voice that sounded all too familiar to Key said loudly and the class hushed. “Good morning class, I'm your new teacher, Mr Kim, and I hope that you all enjoy my lessons,”

Key looked up and his mouth went dry. He was the perfect stranger that gave him the umbrella! Key instantly wanted to vomit from his earlier thoughts of how hot that guy was. Now it was just weird; he should not be lusting after his teacher for God's sake.

Mr. Kim got out a clipboard and started to call out the names of the students. The list of names went on, and so far everyone was present and a few people requested nicknames over their given names.

“Kim Kibum.” He called out and looked over the class.

“It's Key,” he said with a small voice, hoping to let Mr. Kim know of his presence (he wasn't about to be marked absent and mar his perfect record because the teacher didn't hear him) but also not wanting to draw too much attention to himself.

Mr. Kim's eyes found where the voice came from, and was momentarily taken aback when he saw that it was the pretty boy that was walking in the rain.

"Huh?" Mr. Kim mumbled dumbly.

"I, um, I prefer being called 'Key'," Key repeated, his face going pink.

“Uh, okay,” the elder recovered from his shock and put a tick beside his name.

He called out a few more names when the classroom door swung open and a tall boy rushed in, heaving and bowing profusely.

“Sorry I'm late sir,” he huffed, still trying to catch his breath.

“That's fine...uh...I'm sorry,” Mr. Kim offered a bashful smile. (Key ignored how cute that smile was). “I'm new, would you mind telling me your name?”

“Oh! Right! Sorry, I’m new too, my bad,” the boy, who looked far too young to be in this class, Kibum thought, rambled. “I'm Lee Taemin!” he bowed again. Mr. Kim marked off the boy, Taemin, off the roster and urged him to find a seat.

Mr. Kim resumed the role call and Kibum went back to staring blankly at his desk. That was until he heard a small “excuse me” from beside him. He tentatively looked up and saw Lee Taemin standing beside him.

“Um, do you mind if I sit here?” Taemin asked, gesturing to the desk beside Key's.

In all honesty, Key wanted to say no, but who was he to refuse? He was only a student and Taemin could sit where he liked.

“Yeah, sure,” he replied.

“Thanks,”

Key eyed the boy as he pulled textbook after textbook out of his backpack and piled them onto the desk before he found the right one.

With a curious brow raised, Kibum asked, “haven't been to your locker yet?”

“No, not yet. I got so lost trying to find Headmaster Choi's office that I was already late, and then I got lost again trying to find this class so I didn't really have time to get lost looking for a locker,”

“This school can definitely get confusing,” Key agreed with a nod, “do you-”

“Key, Taemin,” Mr. Kim interrupted, and only then did Key realise that class had begun and everyone was staring at he and Taemin. “If you wouldn't mind, we're starting the lesson now.”

Blushing and sliding down his seat to hide from the embarrassment, Key decided he wouldn't mind if the Earth opened up and swallowed him whole right now.

“Sorry Mr. Kim,” Taemin apologised, beet red and bowing as far as he could from behind the desk. Satisfied, Mr. Kim smiled and returned to the lesson at hand.

From the corner of his eye, the darker-haired male noticed Taemin scribbling something on a page of his notebook. Not a moment later, said page was shoved onto Kibum's side of the desk, forcing his attention to the messily-written sentence.

Sit with me at lunch?

He wasn't sure what came over him in that moment; maybe he was lonely and decided that maybe he could use a friend, or maybe it was nothing but temporary insanity but either way, Kibum looked up at Taemin and nodded.

 

 

∆

 

“Umma?” Key called out from the front door, toeing off his shoes and leaning Mr. Kim's umbrella by the door to dry out a bit more before he had to leave the house again. “Umma~” he called again, not so much expecting a response but more of a way to let her know that he was there.

He knocked gently on her bedroom door before entering. She was just as she always was; laying peacefully on her bed, head supported by a mountain of pillows and staring blankly at the ceiling. It still hurt to see her like that, the boy knew it always would, but he would be damned if he let her stay at a nursing home or a hospital. She wanted to be home, so he would care for her like the good son he was (even if it meant he had no time for friends and could barely squeeze in time for homework).

“I made a friend today,” Key told her as he prepared her medication, “At least, I think we're friends now. We sat together at lunch and he sits beside me in Lit. His name is Taemin, he's nice. Kinda goofy but that's okay,”

He continued to tell her about his day (including Taemin; not including his less-than-appropriate feelings for his new teacher) as he fed her the medication and got himself ready for work.

Ever since the incident (as his other relatives and the hospital staff liked to refer to it) Kibum's mother had been unable to work, so Key had taken it upon himself to get a job and provide for them both. His grandmother was appalled when she found out and had offered to rent Kibum his own high-rise apartment in the city and pay for his college tuition, the catch, however, was that his mother would stay in a home. Key hadn't hesitated to turn her down and the old lady hasn't tried to contact either of them since.

“I have to go now, umma,” he checked his watch to make sure he wasn't running late before pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I'll see you when I get home around nine, okay? Goodbye, I love you!”

Taking a quick glance out of the window, he saw that it was raining. He stood by the door for a moment, contemplating whether or not to take the stranger’s – wait, no, Mr Kim's – umbrella. He nearly didn’t, but changed his mind at the last minute and decided to take it with him. Making sure to lock the door behind him, he headed out to work.

Nothing happened at work. At least, not until he was fifteen minutes away from the end of his shift. Key stood there near the counter, waiting for any customers at all to enter the diner. He was scribbling random lines and shapes onto his notepad when the bell dinged, signalling the entrance of a customer. He looked up from his scribbling, and felt extremely awkward when he watched Mr Kim enter the diner. He stood there, frozen, watching his former knight in shining armour (and current teacher) choose a small round table that sat only two people right beside the large window.

“Key? What are you doing?” Victoria, his boss, hissed in his ear, breaking Key out of his reverie. “Go serve him!”

“But – I – oh,” He stumbled as Victoria gave him a slight push. He walked on shaky legs towards the teacher's table.

Mr. Kim was still looking at the menu with his beautiful – um, teacher-y, brown eyes.

Key cleared his throat awkwardly and smiled at him. “Hello, um, can I take your order?” his voice was unusually small.

“Oh, hey,” Mr Kim said happily “Kibum - sorry, Key, right?” he asked, although he knew full well what the boy's name was – he’d been on his mind since he saw him walking in the rain.

Key nodded shyly and bit his lip.

“So, uh, Mr Kim, what can I get you?” he asked timidly.

“Please, we’re out of school; call me Jonghyun,” He told Key with his model-like smile, “and I’ll just get a regular flat white with one sugar, take away.”

Key nodded and hurried off to get his order. He let out a long breath once he reached the register and gave the order to their barista. The coffee was ready in less than a minute, meaning that he had to go back over there.

“Here you are, Mr Kim – I mean Jonghyun,” He corrected quickly and placed the paper cup on the table.

“Thanks Key -”

“OH! I have your umbrella here!” he exclaimed suddenly, taking them both by surprise, “I used it because it was raining on my way to work. I hope you don’t mind,” he mumbled, a light blush adorning his cheeks.

“That’s fine,” he returned Key's smile with slight amusement. “Do you need it for your way back?”

“No, I should be okay,” he smiled reassuringly. It was only lightly drizzling outside, so he didn’t need it.

“Well, how about, I walk you back to your place so you don’t catch a cold, and then I can take it back when you get home nice and dry," he suggested.

While he considered it a good idea and he didn't want Kibum getting sick, Jonghyun knew deep down that a large part of his suggestion stemmed from the nagging feeling in his stomach that he wasn't quite ready to part with Key – not yet.

Key flushed, his face warming and turning a light shade of pink and his heart fluttering, and smiled at Jonghyun. He knew he shouldn't be doing this; shouldn't be talking with Jonghyun like this outside of school and definitely shouldn't be entertaining the thought of pursuing his feelings, but something about knowing how wrong it was only made Kibum want it more.

“I'm off in ten,”

 

 

 

 

Not fifteen minutes later and they were leaving the diner and headed off to Key's house.

They were huddled close together under the umbrella that Jonghyun was holding above their head, like a true gentleman. Hearts were hammering as they shared quiet jokes and anecdotes and breath and personal space, all the while their hands brushed against one another ever so slightly but neither willing enough to make a move and hold on (like they both wanted to).

Jonghyun had just finished telling Kibum a story from back in his college days that involved honey, a water-gun filled with cooking oil and a live chicken, when Kibum laughed out loud. He threw his head back in glee, a loud, hearty laugh bubbling out as he covered his mouth with his hand and, as Jonghyun smiled softly at the heart-warming sight, he couldn't help but think how, to the outside observer, they would've looked so much like a couple.

He would never admit how welcome the thought was.

Clearing his throat to clear his head, Jonghyun questioned; “so, you don’t have an umbrella?”

“Nope,” Key shook his head.

“You realise you live in the rainiest part of Seoul, right? Why don’t you have one? Shouldn’t your parents buy you one? You know, duty of care or something,”

“Things with my parents are...kinda complicated,” he said with a shrug, and then tacked on; “anyway, I like to watch the rain fall above my head. I think it’s nice,”

Jonghyun just nodded. As much as he wanted to ask Key about his home situation, he could tell that the younger didn't want to talk about it any further and Jonghyun wasn't on to push. A voice in the back of his head told him that he, as Key's teacher, had a right to enquire about the safety and stability of his students but he knew that his growing feelings for the boy were more than platonic it would be wrong to use his position of power for his own gain.

Key stopped outside a small, wood and brick house with a wilting garden bed and a front lawn in desperate need of mowing.

“So, this is me,” Key told him, looking down at his hands.

“Oh, right, okay,” Jonghyun said with a nod.

A thick silence fell between them, the only sound that of the rain hitting the plastic above them before dropping onto the pavement below. Neither quite knew what to do, or say, so Jonghyun took initiative by stepping away – out of Key's personal space until there was a more respectable distance between them.

“Okay,” Kibum nodded and waved at him awkwardly, before turning and walking to his front door with a goofy smile on his face, not knowing that Jonghyun was walking back to his car with the same smile.


	2. 02

A couple of weeks passed and in those weeks a few things had happened.

Thing number one; Taemin had become Key's best friend. They sat together in class, writing notes during the boring parts; they sat together at lunch, gossiping about boys and seeing who could flick their peas the furthest down the table. Key had even gone to Taemin's house over the weekend – it wasn't too big, probably seen by most as a standard Korean home, decorated with pictures of their family and refrigerator stocked with snacks and fruit that the boys could help themselves to. Taemin couldn't understand why Key looked around in awe, and Key wasn't comfortable explaining just yet, so they left the more personal questions unsaid for the moment.

Thing number two; Jonghyun had become a regular at Key's place of work. Every afternoon he would be there, working on his laptop, grading school papers, or just enjoying a coffee (sometimes even treating himself to a muffin or a bagel). During the quiet periods or when Key was on break, he'd often sit with Jonghyun and they'd talk and laugh like they were old friends.

Thing number three; his mother's condition had taken a turn for the worse. She wasn'texactly a picture of health before, but now she was resisting medication and it was hard for even Kibum to get through to her. He didn't know what to do or how to help, but he was determined to deal with it on his own, like she wanted; no hospitals involved – at least, not if he could help it.

Thing number four; Kibum had developed somewhat of a crush on Mr. Kim. He knew it was wrong ('Jonghyunis my teacher, what am I thinking?'), he knew it was stupid ('He's so out of my league, he'd never throw away his career for a teenager!') but he couldn't help those fluttery feelings he'd get each and every time he saw Jonghyun's fond grin whenever the elder looked at him. He tried not to let it get to him at school, and he was cautious not to let anything slip to Taemin, but that wasn't as easy as he thought when Jonghyun was standing there, reciting beautiful words in that chocolate voice of his.

“Hello~? Earth to Kibum?” Taemin was waving a hand before Key's face – who had lost himself in a land of daydreams created by his teacher's voice.

The brunette blinked, coming back to reality. He looked around the room and noticed that everyone except himself, Taemin and Mr. Kim had left. (He pretended not to notice the amused grin Mr. Kim was sending his way.)

“Huh?”

Taemin shot him a look, eyebrow raised. “Are you okay? I thought I lost you for a moment, the bell rang five minutes ago.”

“I guess I just zoned out, my bad,” he apologised, shoving his books into his bag.

“See you tomorrow, Mr. Kim,” Taemin said with a smile as he skipped out of the classroom.

“Goodbye, Taemin,” he smiled at the boy (who was already out the door) before shooting a much softer (and was that a hint of fondness Kibum saw?) smile in the other boy's direction, “Kibum,” he acknowledged with a nod.

“Um, I’ll see you later Jo- Mr. Kim,” Key said, bowing politely.

“Yeah,” Jonghyun said as though agreeing and then his smile widened, “later.”

 

 

∆

 

 

Taemin groaned, rolling over onto his stomach and resting his forehead on his arms, red hair flopping onto his face.

“This is totally unfair!” he whined.

Key shrugged, popped another crisp in his mouth, and looked up at Taemin from his spot on the boy's bedroom floor where he was doing his maths revision later that afternoon.

“It can't be that bad. There's three of you, right? That means you'll have to do less of the workload,” Key reasoned.

They were talking about their new social studies assignment. It was supposed to be a pairs assignment but since there was an uneven number of students in the class, there would be one group of three. Taemin drew the short straw (figuratively and literally; their social studies professor had an interesting way of doing things) and got put in a group with the school's sweethearts, Byun Baekhyun and Park Chanyeol.

“No! Are you kidding me?” Taemin exclaimed, looking up at Key with wild eyes. “I've barely been in this school a month and I've already seen too much PDA between those guys for a lifetime, now I need to do an assignment with them? I mean, it's nothing against them personally, but seriously, I already know I'm going to be doing all the work while they sit there sucking face – loudly,”

Taemin huffed a defeated sigh. Key just shrugged again.

“Hey, who'd you get coupled up with?” the younger asked, rolling, once again, onto his back and spreading out on his bed like an eagle.

Key scrunched up his face in discomfort. “Don't phrase it like that!” (Taemin sniggered.) “I got paired with Nam Jaehyo.”

“Is he that kid who looks scary but sits by himself and spends lunch watching funny cat videos?”

Taemin wasn't wrong; Jaehyo did look scary. From his loud motorbike that roared obnoxiously into the school parking lot every morning, to the combination of ripped jeans, combat boots and that faded leather jacket he wore every day, he was the picture of intimidation. He was your stereotypical bad-boy-heartbreaker; there was always a line of girls and boys with flowers and handmade chocolates and love letters written on pink paper and filled with words from the heart, but he turned each and every one of them down without fail, leaving a slew of broken hearts in his wake.

Before today, Kibum wouldn't have dared say two words to him – not until they were paired together for this assignment. He had learned, then, that Jaehyo was actually quite nice and soft-spoken.

“The one and only,” Key confirmed with a nod.

“I see him looking at you a lot, hyung. I think he likes you,”

Key scoffs, but the light pink that dusts his cheeks betrays his nonchalance. “As if. You've seen the way he rejects people, like, all the time,”

“Yeah, well, maybe that's because he's waiting for someone specific. Specifically, you,”

“I don't know about that, Tae,” Key says (instead of “I'm not really interested since I have my heart set on Mr. Kim.” He figures that one wouldn't go down so well).

“You got his number, right?”

“Yeah, so we can arrange times to work on the project,”

“Text him!”

“What?! Taemin, I can't just text him like that out of the blue!”

“It won't be out of the blue if you say you want to set up a time to work on the assignment and hang out~”

“I don't know, Taemin,” Key says, hands toying idly with the hem of his t-shirt.

“Come on, do it! You two can get to know each other and fall in love; the Bad Boy and the Nobody. It'll be a love story for the ages!” Taemin says, earning himself a deadpan look from Key, “Okay, okay, but you have to at least admit; he's damn cute!”

Despite himself, Key actually thought about it. Jaehyo was cute, after all, and would it really be so bad to let himself go after someone who was, admittedly, a lot more reachable than Jonghyun? He knew nothing could happen with Jonghyun, his teacher, and he had to get over this crush sometime.

'Well,' he thought, 'no time like the now, or something.'

“Okay,” Key decided with a sigh, exhaling deeply as though it would release the fear churning in his stomach. Taking out his phone and opening a new message, he asked; “What should I say?”

“Wait, seriously?” Taemin jumped up, the excitement visible on his face. “Yes! Okay, well, most conversations start with 'hello',”

Key had to force himself not to roll his eyes. “I know that much, but I don't want to be forgettable.”

“Okay, so say something like 'I wanna ride you like your Harley,' I'm sure he won't be forgetting that,” the redhead said with a loud laugh.

“Lee Taemin!” Key screeched in horror. “You can't talk like that, you're innocent!”

Taemin wasn't sure which part made him laugh harder; Key's reaction or being called 'innocent'.

“Aish, you know what? I can do this on my own. It can't be that hard to talk to people,” Key decided, sending a simple text.

 

**Hi :)**

 

 

The response was almost instant.

 

 

**Hey! I was just about to text you :D**

 

**Oh really?**

 

**Yep, I guess we have some sort of special  
psychic bond~**

 

**Ahaha, I'm sure that's it! What am I thinking  
about now?**

 

**Hanging out with me on Saturday?**

 

 

Before Key could reply, a second message showed up.

 

 

**To work on the assignment, of course.**

 

**Of course ;)**

 

**So, is that a yes?**

 

**Yes :)**

 

**Awesome! I know this great little cafe, it's usually  
pretty quiet there and I'd love to take you.**

 

**Pick me up at 11?**

 

**I'll bring the spare helmet :)**

 

**I'll see you then~**

 

**It's a date :D**

 

 

Maybe, Key thinks, this whole thing might not be so bad.

 

 

∆

 

 

Saturday came along faster than Kibum was maybe ready for. He felt as though no time had passed and yet here he was; readjusting with the hem of his sweater and fixing his hair for the nth time as he waited for Jaehyo on his front porch.

Did he really think this through? He has little to no social skills, having made his first friend a month ago, and has no idea how to act on an unofficial date with the school's most wanted-yet-unattainable guy. Not to mention the fact that he was, admittedly, still hung up with his planet-sized crush on his Lit teacher. What the hell was he thinking? What the hell was he doing?

He didn't have time to dwell on it as a motorcycle was roaring to a stop outside his white picket fence. The rider stopped the bike, used his boot to push down the kickstand and took off his helmet. He shook out his shaggy black hair and shot Key a charming smile. The boy snapped out of his daze and quickly made his way to the man on the bike.

“Hey,” Jaehyo greeted with a gummy smile. He handed Key the spare helmet as the other offered him a shy “hi” in reply.

Key nodded, looking at the helmet cautiously before eventually slipping it onto his head, latching it beneath his chin safely.

“You ever been on one of these before?” Jaehyo asked, gesturing to his bike. Key shook his head. “Well, you're in for an experience! Just, make sure you hold on tight to me, alright?” Another nod. “Okay, you ready to go?”

“As I'll ever be,” Key gulped, speaking up for the first time since Jaehyo arrived.

His arms wound around a strong torso, hands gripping the leather jacket tight. Key wanted butterflies in his stomach, like he gets whenever he's at work and he hears the doorbell ding and he looks up to see Jonghyun's wide smile pointed in his direction.

He wanted his heart rate to speed up, how it does every time Jonghyun looks at him with a soft, sweet smile and says “Kibum” in that way that makes Key not hate his name and instead makes him want to hear it every single day of his life.

He wanted to blush at the touch and want for more, he was he does whenever he tells Jonghyun a joke that makes the elder laugh out loud and clutch Kibum's arm to steady himself.

He wanted to picture himself falling in love with Jaehyo, the way he pictures himself falling in love with Jonghyun, but it just didn't happen.

The bike stopped outside a café that Kibum was all too familiar with. He didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry as he stared – or, more like gaped at his workplace; the very same place that allows him to spend so much time with Jonghyun. Why, Key wondered, was the universe so against him?

“So, this is the café I mentioned I wanted to show you,” Jaehyo started as he removed his helmet and took Key's, placing them on the back of the bike, “they make a really good latte – or hot chocolate, if coffee isn't your kinda thing. And, they have these cupcakes that have warm fudge inside them so when you bite into the cupcake, which is vanilla, you also get this rich chocolate and why do you look like this is the last place you want to be?”

“Oh, no! I-”

“Oh my god, you've totally been here before, haven't you?”

“Well, yes, but-”

“Did you hate it? Did you – oh no, did you come here with an ex and it has bad memories associated with it?”

“No, nothing like th-”

“I completely understand! We can go somewhere else, I’m so sorry!”

“JAEHYO!” Key snapped, finally getting the other's attention (not that Key wasn't finding his ramblings both amusing and adorable). “I work here, that's all,”

(He lets the “and I spend a lot of time with Jonghyun – you know, Mr. Kim, the new Lit teacher – here and it's kinda special to me because I may or may not be falling for him so I don't really want to share this place with you.” go unsaid.)

“Oh...oh...well, we can still go somewhere else, if you'd like? I can't imagine you'd want to spend you time off work at your workplace,”

Deep down (well, if Kibum was being honest, it wasn't that deep down, but honesty doesn't matter when you have feelings for your professor) Key wanted to say “yes, let's leave,” but he knew that it wouldn't be for the reason Jaehyo offered. He had to move on; Key couldn't just pretend like this place had some special couple meaning to himself and Mr. Kim since, well, they weren't actually a couple.

“No, really, it's fine,” he says finally, complete with a dimpled smile. “I don't think I've ever actually been here outside work, it'll be like a whole new experience,”

Jaehyo's lips twitched into a pleased smile. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Key smiled back. “Lead the way,”

They sat at Jaehyo's favourite spot; somewhere near a dark corner and, thankfully for Key, far away and nothing like the bright, beside-the-window table that Jonghyun prefers. Jaehyo ordered for the both of them (he preferred to go to the register to order, rather than have someone come to the table for him, unlike Jonghyun who preferred to enjoy his alone time while patiently waiting for someone to approach him). He got a long black for himself, a hazelnut latte for Kibum and one of those cupcakes to share. Key was thankful that he offered to order; he spends more than enough time behind that register and he'd rather sit at the table and get all his pages of notes in order before they begin the actual studying.

“Wow, got the school work out already. Someone's eager to study,” Jaehyo teased as he took his seat before Key.

Key blushed, looking down at his neat and colour-coded notes. “I like to get good marks,” is what he replied stupidly.

“Relax,” he said, leaning back into his chair coolly, “I think it's cute, actually,”

Key's face heated up further but he was saved by the bell as Luna arrived with their orders.

“Thank you,” Jaehyo said with one of his signature grins. Luna smiled back and was that a blush Key saw?

“Thank you, Luna-ssi,” Key said, seeming to get her attention for the first time she arrived.

“Key! What are you doing here? I didn't know you came here outside work!” She said, bubbly as ever.

“I don't but Jaehyo does and he wanted to take me so...here I am,” he offered with a shrug.

“Oh my-” Luna gasped suddenly, eyes and smile widening as she pointed between Key and Jaehyo, “are you two here on a date?”

“Oh, no, not really,” Key said at the very same time Jaehyo responded, “Well, yeah, kinda,”

The two boys locked eyes, the air around them immediately becoming awkward.

“Oh...I, uh,” Luna started, unsure what to say to repair the situation.

“Wait, I thought you were flirting with me, a little, when we were texting?” Jaehyo's brow was furrowed in confusion and Kibum really didn't know what to say – he'd never flirted with anyone before so maybe, just maybe, in his attempts to ignore his feelings for Jonghyun he had led Jaehyo to believe this study date was more than it was.

“I-I was, a little,” he admitted.

“But...this isn't a date? At all?”

“I mean, I guess it is sorta a date,” Key said, his stomach churning from embarrassment as he added, “if that's what you want,”

“Um, yeah,” Jaehyo said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, “I do, I mean, if that's okay with you?”

“Awe~ look at you two, all flustered,” Luna cooed (and Key nearly jumped out of his skin, having completely forgotten she was standing there), “You guys are so cute! I really think you'll make a good couple! Jaehyo oppa...”

She kept rambling, but Key was no longer paying any attention to either of them. The doorbell had rung as someone entered the café; purely out of habit, Key looked up to see who it was and there was Jonghyun, in all his glory.

As much as he tried not to, Key couldn't help but stare. Chocolate hair coiffed to perfection, black skinny jeans hugging thick thighs, a beige turtle neck drawing Key's attention to Jonghyun's delicious Adam's apple and a rich blue blazer hanging delicately off his shoulders.

He smiled a toothy smile at Krystal, who was behind the register, before scanning the café to see if his usual table was free. As his eyes swept across the room, they briefly met Kibum's. Jonghyun smiled at him and Key was smiling back before he even realised he was doing it. The elder's smile quickly dropped from his face, his happy disposition becoming one of frustration and something that almost looked to Key like disappointment as he took a seat at the table by the window all by himself.

Key sighed, wanting nothing more than to be sitting over there with him.

“Um, Key?” Jaehyo's voice drifted softly into Key's ears.

Kibum blinked, suddenly hyper aware of his surroundings. He wasn't sure how long he had zoned out for (he'd been doing that a lot lately, he really needed to get that under control. Curse Kim Jonghyun and his perfect damn face!) but Luna was now gone and Jaehyo had his textbooks out and was staring at Key with a look of curiosity and a bit of hesitance.

“Hm? What?” Key asked, gaping stupidly.

“I just asked if you wanted to get started on this work?” he repeated.

“Yeah, yes, of course,” Key nodded, sitting up and opening his textbook. He paused and looked up at Jaehyo – he owed the other an apology; it wasn't very nice of him to space out while thinking about another guy. Jaehyo didn't deserve that. “I'm really sorry I wasn't paying attention. I get distracted easily lately,”

“It's fine,” the other replied, but the vaguely hurt look in his eyes betrayed his words. “Got a lot on your mind?”

Where could Key even begin to answer that question?

Was it with his sick mother? Who he felt he hadn't been spending enough time with ever since he became friends with Taemin; who was resisting her medication and had started throwing fits whenever Key tried to feed her. He was happy to see that she was moving around, happy to know she still could, but significantly less happy that she would only move to claw at his arms and push him away and flip the tray of food he put on her bed, all the while screaming unintelligibly at him.

Did he start with his burgeoning feelings for a teacher at their school, a man in a position of authority over Kibum and eleven years his senior? Key repeatedly told himself nothing could, would, happen with Jonghyun but that didn't seem to help; his eyes still drifted to the man whenever they were in the same room, he still wanted to hold Jonghyun's hand over their shared table, he wanted to kiss him in the rain under the cover of their umbrella.

Or maybe, he should start with how he's only really here with Jaehyo, only letting Jaehyo woo him and think he's interested, to forget about his aforementioned feelings for the other man?

Key doesn't think he should say any of those things, so he just says, “yeah, but it's a bit personal. Sorry, again,”

“I understand, it's okay. I just want you to know I’m here for you whenever you need me, alright?” Jaehyo offered with a smile. He was sweet, and Key felt the guilt eat him up when he thought of how he was just using him. He didn't deserve to be treated like that.

With a nod, Key said, “Thank you, I appreciate it,”

Jaehyo gestured down to their books and laughed. “Should we finally start, then?”

 

 

 

 

Key wanted to say that they got a lot of work done, but that'd be a lie. After a few hours, they had a brief outline down, which was a start (albeit not a very good one). Half the time was spent trying to jot down notes and getting distracted by talking, and the other half Key spent looking over Jaehyo's shoulder at Jonghyun while Jaehyo actually did write down notes. If the other boy noticed, he didn't mention it to Kibum; just another thing Key was thankful to Jaehyo for.

Late afternoon was looming over them now; the sun would be setting soon and the café would close in half an hour.

Despite minimal work getting done, Key thinks their...whatever it was, went well. He had enjoyed getting to know Jaehyo. Even if he didn't have any romantic feelings for him, he could see them becoming friends and, hopefully, Key might start feeling something more for him eventually.

“We should probably head off,” Jaehyo said, looking outside the café. “I prefer not to have to ride directly into the sun,”

“Oh,” was all Key said, his eyes darting to Jonghyun, who hadn't moved and if Kibum knew anything about the elder (which he did), would probably stay there until closing time. “You know what? You go on, I’m going to stay back and help the guys close up. I know Luna hates mopping and Krystal is usually too busy texting her girlfriend to help,”

Key knew all too well that it was a massive lie; really, he just wanted Jaehyo to leave so he could spend some time with Jonghyun, like he'd been longing to do for hours now. He felt a bit bad lying to someone who was so obviously interested in him, and using his workmates as an excuse, but somehow his mind led him to believe that getting to see Jonghyun, even for a few minutes, justified it.

Jaehyo frowned. “Are you sure? It'll be dark when you finish,”

“Yeah, I'll be fine. You forget I do this often, Jaehyo hyung,” Key said with a smile.

“I know, but I'd feel better knowing you're safe,” he said, “plus, I brought you here so it's the gentlemanly thing to do to make sure you get home,”

“Jaehyo,” Key said sternly, “you need to beat the sunset, so stop worrying about me and get going. I’ll be fine; I'll even text you when I get home so you know I’m safe, deal?”

Key really hoped that sounded convincing to Jaehyo's ears, because to his own it only sounded desperate.

Despite himself, Jaehyo cocked a smile.

“Deal,” he agreed.

With a pleased smile, Key helped Jaehyo pack up his things; he felt as though he was all but shoving him out the door, but he failed to feel bad about it when his gaze landed on Jonghyun and the empty seat in front of him.

“Would it be completely out of line to ask for a hug?” Jaehyo asked, and Key wondered how he ever found the boy so intimidating. With a nod and a smile, Key offered him a small, if not slightly awkward, hug goodbye. His eye caught Jonghyun's over Jaehyo's shoulder. He didn't want to let himself dwell, but Kibum was almost certain that Jonghyun was watching with jealousy in his eyes.

“Text me when you get home?” Jaehyo reminded, looking back at Key and smiling, as he left.

Jaehyo's motorcycle had just left the parking lot when Kibum collected his things in his arms, not even bothering to put them away in his bag, and bolted to the empty seat at Jonghyun's table.

The elder looked at him in surprise, clearly not having expected Kibum to appear so suddenly – not that he was complaining.

“Kibum,” Jonghyun gaped, “What are you doing?”

“Oh, uh, sitting?” he said, carefully placing his books on the table to pack them away properly, “I guess I should've asked first I just- well, you don't usually have a problem when I sit with you so I just assumed you wouldn't now. It was rude of me, I'm sorry,”

The elder visibly relaxed; he let out a small breath and his tense stance loosened.

“It's no problem, Key,” he said, eyes full of warmth, “I love your company, you know that,”

' _I love it maybe a little more than I should_ ,' he thought before mentally slapping himself. ' _Aish! I'm such a pervert_!'

Kibum let a wide grin form on his face, dimples showing cutely and secretly making Jonghyun's heart do flip-flops. Jonghyun would never admit how much he truly loves that smile.

“I saw you earlier,” Mr. Kim confessed, “when I arrived. I would've stopped to say hello but I didn't want to interrupt your-”

“Study date!” Key interrupted before he even realised he was speaking. He could feel the tips of his ears turning red and if ever there were a time for the earth to open up and swallow him whole, this would be it. “It was just a study date...”

“Oh, well, either way, it would've been weird for your teacher to come and talk to you outside school, right?”

Kibum's forehead crinkled in a small frown. “You talk to me outside school all the time. That's not weird for you, is it?” he asked, suddenly insecure. Had he been forcing his presence upon Jonghyun this entire time?

“Of course not!” he was quick to assure, “We're different, Bum,” (“I don't think about kissing any of my other students,” is what he didn't say.)

Jonghyun couldn't help the fond smile that crept onto his face as he watched Key's cheeks heat up. It wasn't the first time he'd used the nickname, but he still relished the reaction it got like it was.

“Besides, we didn't really meet at school, after all,” he added, once the weight of his earlier admission had full sunk in.

“I suppose we didn't,” Key agreed, though he was staring out the window lost in thought.

The café was closing in just a few minutes; this would usually be the time that they would leave and Jonghyun would chivalrously walk Key home without either of them speaking a word of it. More than once Jonghyun had offered to drive, but Kibum always refused; the walk wasn't a long one and he claimed he needed the exercise. The real reason was that he knew if he was in such a small space with Jonghyun he would be hyper aware of the way the elder smelled (people underestimate the intimacy of a small car with a lovestruck teen in it) and just how many ethical lines they were really crossing. This time, however, Key wasn't sure what would happen since this wasn't like all the other times – Key was, after all, here with someone else first.

“Jonghyun?” he asked suddenly, looking back at the elder who was packing away his work – some essays from a junior class, Key thinks. The elder looked up at Key and hummed his acknowledgement, clipping up his shoulder bag, “Will you walk me home?”

Kibum would later swear that the smile Jonghyun gave him the turned all of his insides into mush.

“I thought that went without saying,” he said in reply, standing from the table and waiting for Key to follow suit.

“No umbrella today?” Key questioned as they began walking, noting Jonghyun's empty hand.

The elder shrugged. “I haven't needed it so far today and, well, you said you weren't working today so I wasn't expecting you to be here. If I'd known I would've brought it for your sake, just in case,”

“Right. I wasn't expecting to see you, either. I don't know why, it's stupid,”

“What's stupid?”

“I guess I just...I had this idea in my head that you only went there when I was working, or something? I don't know, I said it was stupid,”

“It's not stupid,” Jonghyun reassured, though he didn't mention how he does only go there for Kibum, and that today was the exception because his office at home was covered in crumpled-up and half-written sheet music and he just needed somewhere quiet to do his work since he was too lazy to clean it up. “You only see me there when you're working, it's only natural to think that's the only time I’m there,”

“Yeah, you're right,” the student said as they turned the corner onto his street and a single drop of rain hit his forehead. “You've got to be kidding me!”

Jonghyun's face contorted in confusion. “What?”

The question was answered in the form of a sudden downpour.

Without hesitation, Jonghyun grabbed Key's hand and they ran for the student's front porch not one hundred metres before them. Key tried to focus on getting out of the freezing rain and not on how well Jonghyun's warm hand felt holding his own. He tried to focus on not slipping and falling on his face and not how fast his damn heart was beating.

Jonghyun's hand didn't let his go, even as Kibum fumbled with opening his front gate.

They made it to the shelter of the front porch, both of them a laughing mess. Their clothes felt heavy and stuck to their skin uncomfortably, wet hair hung in their eyes and dripped down their face, but both were too focused on the sensation of the other's hand in theirs to concern themselves with anything else.

Almost absent-mindedly, Jonghyun used his free hand to brush Key's wet bangs out of his eyes and off his forehead. The younger blushed and stepped closer into Jonghyun's personal space.

He gulped and decided, fuck it, time to take a chance. As he leant in, Kibum's nose brushed against Jonghyun's lightly.

Jonghyun was all too aware of Key's body barely inches from his own, the younger's hot breath fanning his face and the petite hand that was still firmly in his grip. It wasn't until now that Jonghyun finally let himself admit it; he wanted this. He wanted it – wanted Kibum – so badly.

But he couldn't allow himself to have it.

Before their lips could touch, Jonghyun released Key's hand and pushed the younger away. Without another word, Jonghyun left the sanctuary of Kibum's porch. All the younger could do was stand there, with a broken heart and misty eyes, and watch as Jonghyun's back retreated into the rain and away from everything Kibum thought they shared.


	3. 03

To say Key was embarrassed was an understatement, he was mortified. He found out the hard was that he was reading the signals all wrong, if there were any signals to begin with, and he wanted nothing more than to go back in time and stop himself from falling for his teacher.

Jonghyun didn't come into the café for a week after the almost-kiss. Kibum thinks it was probably for the best; class was already awkward enough. All week, Key barely responded to the roll-call, he kept his head low (avoiding Jonghyun's gaze at all costs) and hadn't answered a single question – not that he had been called on either.

Jonghyun wouldn't admit it, but he was struggling. He felt bad for leaving Kibum the way he did, but he also knew that if he had stayed he would've let his student kiss him – and he wouldn't have let go.

It was bad enough when Key was, to him, just a pretty stranger walking in the rain. It was only made worse by the fact that the younger was now his student, yet Jonghyun still couldn't keep Key off his mind. He told himself that first day that he would stop thinking of Key in a romantic light, or in any light at all. That was made almost impossible when the boy also worked at the first nice café Jonghyun found in this part of the city. It must've been fate that the two had met three separate times in the same day, right? Well, who was Jonghyun to deny fate?

Admittedly, it was probably a mistake to allow Kibum to call him by his first name, and to walk him home that first day. In hindsight, Jonghyun also shouldn't have offered Kibum to sit with him during the student's break the next night, or the following night, or the night following that night...the point is, Jonghyun should've known better. He was the adult, the teacher, he should never have allowed his attraction to grow into this – real, legitimate feelings.

Over the course of the week he had distanced himself; it was his responsibility to fix this. He stayed far, far away from the coffee house; he went through the roll-call quickly and professionally, strictly no lingering on Key's name or those beautiful brown eyes of his; he wouldn't even call on Key to answer questions, not unless the younger raised his hand (which he never did, anyway).

He would be lying if he said he didn't miss the younger's company, he did. It would be an even bigger lie if he said he didn't think about what would've happened had he stayed for the kiss. Would they have kissed again? Would either of them regret it? Would they be together now?

“Kim Kibum, can you see me after class?”

Jonghyun wanted to slap himself. The words had left his mouth before he even realised he was speaking. His eyes sought out Kibum (not that his gaze ever strayed too far from the younger) whose head shot up from his conversation with Taemin and was now staring wide-eyed at the teacher.

A long, awkward moment passed before Kibum closed his mouth and gave a small nod before immediately burying his head in his notebook.

“Why does Mr. Kim want to see you after class?” Taemin asked quietly once the man in question resumed the class.

“No idea,” Kibum answered shortly, though he did have a bit of an idea; the almost kiss.

Surely that's the only thing Jonghyun could want to see him about – he hasn't gotten into any trouble, he's maintained his grades, he's even beet quieter in class so not to draw unnecessary attention. What else could it be? He couldn't tell Taemin that, of course, so he settled for avoiding the younger's question and pleading ignorance.

“Ooh! Maybe it'll be like in the dramas and Mr Kim is going to profess his forbidden love for you~” Taemin teased quietly.

Key gulped, his mouth suddenly dry. “I-I don't think that's it, Tae...”

“Don't worry, I’m just kidding,” Taemin said with a nudge to Key's shoulder before continuing, “could you imagine, though? A forbidden romance with the school's hottest teacher? I’m sure that's half the school's dream – even some of the teachers,”

“Well, not mine,” Kibum lied through his teeth. He was sure that if he were even to joke about his feelings for the attractive teacher Taemin would see right through him.

Taemin shrugged, “I guess we'll find out later. Do you want me to hang back with you?”

“No!” Key answered almost too quickly, and a little too loudly as he received a few curious stares.Blushing, he lowered his head and his voice, “Um, no thanks. I'd rather just get it over and done with,”

“Suit yourself, hyung. Just make sure you give me all the gossip!”

“Yeah,” Key agreed, looking away, “sure thing...”

 

 

 

 

Taemin wasn't at their usual lunch table when Kibum arrived, tray of bad cafeteria food in hand. His eyes subconsciously scanned the lunch room for the younger as he took a seat, and Key found him almost instantly, feline like eyes widening and brows shooting up into his hairline.

Across the cafeteria, in a corner by the door, Taemin leaned against a wall, twirling a lock of hair around his nimble finger as he talked to another man – a man that was leaning far too close to Taemin for Key's overprotective liking. Tae had a light blush dusting his cheeks, Kibum could see the stars in his eyes from across the room and he was biting his lip between laughter and soft smiles.

Taemin obviously liked this guy, so why hadn't Key heard about him? He had to admit, even if only to himself, he felt a little let down by the fact that Taemin didn't immediately come to Key to gush about his little crush.

There was a voice in the back of Kibum's mind that reminded him he didn't exactly run to tell Taemin all about his fluffy feelings for a certain brown haired, almond-eyed teacher of theirs, but Key quickly reasoned that that was different. Jonghyun was their teacher, surely Taemin wouldn't understand if Key were to delve into that, and Kibum wasn't prepared to lose his crush and his best friend.

Taking a bite of his apple, Kibum eyed Taemin and the other boy closely, watching as the boy shot Taemin a thousand-watt smile, followed by a small wave, and clapped him on the shoulder before joining the basketball team at their table. The redhead stared dreamily after the boy's retreating back for a few long moments, before he seemed to snap back into reality. He grabbed his lunch tray, which had previously been sitting on an empty chair beside Taemin, and made his way over to his and Key's table. He looked up and met Kibum's gaze. His lips stretched into a wide smile as he waved a hand enthusiastically in Key's direction. Key waved back, chuckling quietly to himself at Taemin's antics.

“Key~!” Taemin called out, far too loud for being now only two feet away from the table. He all but slammed his tray onto the table, dropping onto the seat opposite Key. “What are you doing this Saturday?”

Key's eyes narrowed sceptically, wondering what the younger had signed him up for.

“Working,” he answered, “why?”

Taemin pouted, making him look much younger than he is. “Do you have the night shift?”

“No, morning; Amber takes over at noon,”

“Yes!” he squealed, clapping his hands together in excitement. “You need to come out with me! There's this thing at this pub – don't worry, it's not as dodgy as it sounds; it's a good pub, not one of those dingy ones like in the movies. There's going to be a few kids from school meeting up there, plus it's open mic night and there's said to be some pretty good performers,”

Key sighed. Crowds weren't really his thing; he's never been good at blending.

“This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain basketball captain and student body president I saw you talking to, would it?” he questioned.

Taemin's face turned a hue even a tomato would be jealous of.

“Pfft!” he said, looking away from Kibum and stuffing a spoonful of green Jell-o into his mouth while exclaiming a barely understandable “no!”

“What's his name again?” Kibum wondered aloud as he ignored Taemin's obvious denial, tapping his chin exaggeratedly as he teased the younger, watching the way the other blushed deeper. “Lee something? Lee Jinyo-”

“Lee Jinki!” he quickly corrected, before clearing his throat and eating some more Jell-o. “His name is Lee Jinki and, okay, yes, he may have mentioned he was going and yes, he may have said that he'd like to see me there and he said I should bring 'that guy I’m always with' so now here I am, asking you, and you just have to go, Kibum, please! You don't know how much I like him, it'll mean so much to me and I'll owe you forever but I'm too scared to go on my own and what if he doesn't even talk to me and I'm left there, rejected and sad and alone without my best friend and-”

“TAEMIN!” he cried, effectively shutting the younger up, “Take a breath, Tae baby,”

Taemin nodded, breathing in deeply and out again slowly.

“Let me get this straight; you want me to come to a social gathering, at a pub, where I won't know anyone, so I can third wheel for you?”

Taemin placed a hand on his chest in mock offence. “Kim Kibum, I can't believe you would think so lowly of me! I simply want you there as a friend and maybe a wingman,”

“And what am I supposed to do when you and Jinki leave me to have sex in the bathroom?”

“Please, I have some class Key; we'll only make out in the bathroom, the sex will happen in his car,”

“Terribly sorry to have doubted your standards like that,” Key deadpanned.

Taemin nodded and smiled. “Seriously though, if you're worried about being left on your own just bring a date. I know a certain leather-wearing bad boy who would love to take you out again,”

“Taemin, I already told you. I just-”

“Just see him as a friend, yeah, yeah, I know,” the younger answered for him, “I want you to be happy, that's all, and I don't want to be like Baekhyun and Chanyeol! I don't want to leave you to watch while Jinki and I suck face and you're just sitting there, on your own, thinking about how horribly single you are! You deserve love too, hyung!” Taemin exclaimed with a slam of his fist on the table.

Kibum raised an eyebrow.

“Not speaking from experience or anything there, are we Tae?” the black-haired male teased with a smirk.

In reply, Taemin sunk down in his chair and let his forehead fall onto the table with an exaggerated sob, “why did I get stuck in a group with those two?”

“Life is cruel,” Key concluded with a nod.

Taemin looked up at Key through his fringe. “Are you sure you don't like Jaehyo?”

“Yes, Taemin,”

There was a huff from Taemin.

“Okay, fine. Will you at least come out with me on Saturday?”

And then a sigh from Key.

“Yes, yes, alright,”

“YES! You're the best, Key!”

“And don't you forget it.”

 

 

 

 

“I'll see you later, Key hyung,” Taemin said with a wave as he shuffled out of the hallway.

With a sharp intake of breath, Kibum entered the classroom, closing the door behind him to give Kibum and Mr. Kim some privacy to discuss whatever it was that needed discussing. Taemin thought it was sure to be important if it required Kibum to be kept late.

The moment the door closed, Kibum was suddenly aware how uncomfortable the situation was. He hadn't been alone with Jonghyun since he made such an idiot of himself. All he wanted was to forget it ever happened, forget he ever knew Mr. Kim as more than a teacher, but that was hard to do when the man was standing not three feet away from him; looking cool and calm with his hands in the pockets of his cardigan and his eyes baring into Key's soul.

“So, um,” Key stared, swallowing the lump in his throat as he realised he wasn't sure what he wanted to say, “what did you need to talk to me about?”

Jonghyun was silent for a few moments. What did he want to talk about? At this point he just wanted to hear Kibum's voice and the words had slipped out of his mouth without him even realising.

Should he bring up what happened the other week? Jonghyun honestly wasn't sure what he could say about that without making everything between them worse. It was pointless to tell Kibum it was wrong of him and Jonghyun never wanted that kind of relationship with the younger – he would be lying and it'd only serve to make Kibum feel more guilty and stupid than he already does. Were he to tell the truth, that he wanted to kiss Kibum and more, to be with him properly, would only give false hope as nothing could happen between them.

“How are you, Kibum?” he asked after what felt like a lifetime of silence.

A laugh bubbled out of Key's lips, but it wasn't the loud, happy, carefree laugh that Jonghyun was used to; it was cold and incredulous and almost cynical.

“Seriously?” Key snapped. “You embarrass me by calling me out in the middle of class, make me worry thinking I’m in trouble for something and waste my time by keeping me here late just to ask how I'm doing?”

The older man said nothing, so the student continued.

“How do you think I’m doing, Mr. Kim,” the way he spat Jonghyun's title at him made the elder flinch. He didn't realise how deeply he'd hurt Kibum. “I feel like a fool. I know I read the signs wrong; I saw signals where there were none and even if there were, I acknowledge that it was wrong of me to try and kiss you, but we were friends at least, weren't we? And maybe that was wrong too, but you didn't have to rub salt in the wound and ignore me like this. I can barely look at you from the embarrassment and that's on me, but you didn't need to make me feel like so ashamed of how I feel,”

“I didn't...I didn't think of it like that,” Jonghyun admitted, looking away from Kibum. He was being selfish and he knew it, but he couldn't seem to stop. He may not be able to be with Kibum how he wants but he can't seem to stay away either, “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have handled it like that, it's just, I still think about you, Kibum, I miss y- our friendship,”

Jonghyun avoided Key's eyes and hoped the younger didn't notice his hiccup.

Key shrugged, “I miss it too, but after all this...I don't think it'll be the same again,”

“Maybe you're right, but we can still try, right?” Jonghyun offered a hopeful smile. He wanted Kibum in his life, in any way he could have him.

“I don't know,” was the answer Jonghyun received. It definitely wasn't the one he was expecting. “Maybe we just need to let it go? We had some good times, made nice memories, but who were we kidding? You're my teacher and it was inappropriate for us to become so close, I realise that, especially now that my feelings have grown into something more. I think our relationship should stay that of a teacher and a student; I don't want things to be bad between us, but I need time and space to get over you. I can't do that if we remain friends,”

Realistically, Jonghyun knew that was the only way their relationship could go. He knew he had to let Kibum move on, as he had to do himself, so why did the words feel like such a kick in the stomach?

Jonghyun nodded and returned to his desk. He pulled out a stack of quizzes that needed marking and got to work.

Without so much as a glance up at the student, he said, “you're dismissed, Kibum,”

The younger hung his head so the teacher couldn't see the tears building and left the classroom without another word.

“He's treating you like any other student, Kim Kibum,” Key told himself, wiping his tears away furiously. “That's what you wanted, so stop acting like such a crybaby! Aish, I really need to get over him,”

He pulled out his phone and opened up his most recent message thread.

'Don't do it, Key,' he thought, but his fingers seemed to be working on autopilot as they typed out a new message.

 

 

**Hello Jaehyo hyung~ are you free Saturday night?**

 

 

∆

 

 

Jaehyo, as it turned out, was not free Saturday night, leaving Kibum to face the unpleasantness that comes with being in a new place, surrounded by new people all alone.

Truth be told, having Jaehyo beside him wouldn't have helped him all too much in this situation, but just having a familiar face beside him (god knows where Taemin has disappeared to at this point) would've been a small comfort.

When Kibum had arrived with Taemin earlier that night, there was a large crowd of kids from their school taking up the bar and a few tables. Key immediately recognised them; they were all wearing their school's varsity jackets, after all. The basketball team was there, along with the swim team, the soccer team, Jinki's student body counsel and a few bands from the school's music department.

Taemin let out a squeal, grabbing tight onto Key's arm as he pointed and said, “look, hyung, there he is!”

Kibum sucked in a deep breath to prepare himself for the amount of socialising, fake smiles and forced laughter he was about to partake in. Not paying much attention to his surroundings, he was only aware of a few things going on; Taemin was still latched onto his arm and drooling over their classmate, somewhere in the background the open mic host was presenting the next act (some dude named 'Max' with his electric guitar, also named 'Max') and not ten feet ahead of him, a man dressed in tight jeans and a muscle shirt was smiling wide and clapping enthusiastically up at the guy, Max, on the stage.

“Hyung? What are you staring at?” Taemin asked, finally noticing the look on the elder's face – lips pursed, eyebrows furrowed and his eyes squinting lightly.

“Does that guy look familiar to you?” Key had asked, pointing him out.

Taemin looked at the man and tilted his head, as though that would help him see the guy better.

“I don't kno-”

“OH MY GOD!” Key screamed suddenly as his brain connected the dots, “That's headmaster Choi!”

Taemin paled, his face contorting into a look of mild disgust.

“I feel so dirty...I was checking him out!” the younger of the two said, making gagging motions. “I have regrets, so may regrets!”

“Me too!”

“We will never speak of this again, right Kibum?”

“Right!” Key agreed, nodding furiously.

Taemin sniggered, pointing to the headmaster who had his hands thrown in the air as he banged his head in time to the sounds of Max's deep voice and electric guitar riffs. The older man cheered, letting out a loud whoop followed by an “I love you, Max!”.

“I guess headmaster Choi is a big fan,” Taemin laughed. The headmaster must have heard him, because as the song was coming to an end, he turned to look at the students. Taemin blushed, eyes wide, while Key laughed at his misfortune.

“I am a big fan,” he said with a kind, closed-lip smile, “his number one fan, actually. That's my boyfriend,”

The friends' jaws dropped, but before either of them could comment further, a new voice called out.

“Taemin!” the new voice belonged to none other than Lee Jinki, “you made it!”

Jinki made his way through the crowd and stopped before Taemin. There was a bright smile on his face, and Kibum could tell that it was genuine in the way his eyes shined down at the other boy.

“I said I would,” Taemin said, returning the smile, “oh! This is my best friend, Kim Kibum,”

For the first time, Jinki tore his eyes away from Taemin to face his friend. He held out a hand for Kibum to shake as he introduced himself.

“Hello, Kibum, I'm Lee Jinki but you're free to call me Onew; everyone else does,” he finished with a laugh. “Taemin speaks very fondly of you, so I hope you approve of me because I'm very fond of Taemin,”

Key shook his hand firmly, then bent over to whisper in Taemin's ear, “yeah, okay, he seems like a good one,” but to Onew, he simply folded his arms over his chest and declared “you'll need to do a lot more to impress me,”

“I don't doubt it,” Onew says, still smiling. (Kibum wonders if he ever stops, or if Taemin just has that effect on him). “Can I buy you a drink, Taemin?” he asks with a hand extended for Taemin to take.

Taemin's eyes light up at the offer and he glances between the outstretched hand and his friend. Key gives a barely noticeable nod, but it doesn't matter because Jinki only has his eyes on one person.

Taemin takes Jinki's hand and grabs Kibum's sleeve with his other, not wanting to lose the elder and letting the basketball captain lead them through the crowd. Somewhere along the way, Taemin loses his grip on Key's sleeve and Kibum loses them in amongst the sea of people. He isn't mad; he knows Taemin is just distracted by a cute boy and, honestly, Kibum doesn't blame him – how many times had he zoned off in class while Taemin was talking to him because he was fantasising about Jonghyun?

He doesn't bother trying to follow them, accepting his fate of flying solo (albeit much earlier than anticipated) and now stands awkwardly beside headmaster Choi, where he had been dragged and then forgotten about.

Kibum rolls back on the heels of his feet, looking up at the headmaster beside him who still watches the stage with a wide smile, seemingly not bothered by Kibum's presence. Key, though, feels all kinds of awkward. He has little to no social skills or experience, but standing beside someone he kind-of knows yet not talking feels worse than standing alone or with a stranger.

“So, your boyfriend, huh?” he asked, a lame attempt at starting a conversation with the older man.

Headmaster Choi, however, doesn't seem to find it awkward at all as he smiled down at Key and nods.

“Yeah, we've been together for a few years now,”

“It's nice that you come here to support him,” Key said, watching as Max takes a bow, unplugs his guitar from the amp on the side of the stage and takes his leave with a “thank you all for listening, this has been Max and Max and we will see all you sexy beasts next week!”

The taller male laughs at his boyfriend's antics fondly before he replies to Kibum.

“I'm not actually here to support him,” is what he says. “Wow, that sounds really bad, doesn't it? Let me rephrase; Max plays here every week, so tonight I am not here to support him but another friend of mine who is playing for his first time,”

“But he is still here to support me, because he loves me and can't get enough of this beautiful face,” Max says as suddenly as he appeared, popping up behind the headmaster and resting his chin on the man's shoulder. “Right Minho?”

“Of course,” Minho, replied with a chuckle and a peck to the other's cheek.

Kibum looks at the couple and wonders how two people who seem so different could be so good together. Max, an obvious foreigner, was all pale skin, blue-black hair and facial piercings with bright blue eyes that could pierce your soul. If looks could kill, no one would be game enough to look Max in the face. Minho, on the other hand, was tall, lean and tanned, not to mention full of cute dimples, eye smiles and infectious laughter. The pair couldn't have looked more wrong for each other when they were standing alone, but put them together and it was like two pieces of a puzzle coming together to create a beautiful picture. Maybe opposites do attract, Key thought.

'Maybe Jonghyun and I stand a chance,' is the thought that followed, but he quickly dispelled it.

“Oh, Minnie!” Max said as he smacked Minho's bare shoulder lightly to get his attention and pointed to the stage, “He's coming on,”

“Here is my friend now,” Minho said and nodded toward the stage. “I believe you know him as Mr. Kim,”

Kibum looked up and it was like all the air in his lungs had left him. His mouth went dry and he felt as though someone had stuck their hand into his stomach and pulled out all of his insides.

Jonghyun.

There he was, centre stage beneath a single spotlight (a spotlight that, at first, Kibum wasn't sure was real or just in his head because whenever he sees Jonghyun he sees no one else) perched coolly on a stool with an acoustic guitar in hand.

“Hello everyone,” Jonghyun said into the microphone, a shy smile on his face. Somewhere in the back of Kibum's mind, he registered Minho or Max – he wasn't sure at this point – saying something to him, but all he heard was Jonghyun's velvety voice. “I'll only be performing one song tonight; it's one I wrote myself and it means a lot to me, as does the person I wrote it for, so please be gentle and enjoy,”

Jonghyun leaned back and began strumming the guitar softly.

“ _There are eyes that won't let me go, slightly filled with tears, they are beautiful, your eyes,”_ Jonghyun sang.

Kibum's heart leapt into his throat and he couldn't help but think, hope, even, that this song could be about him.

“ _I will embrace all of you, all of you, all of you. I will embrace you, you're mine,_ ”

Key knew how unrealistic it sounded, even in his own mind, but he couldn't help but feel as though Jonghyun was singing only to him, as though they were the only two that existed in this moment.

“ _I know that it's awkward, come closer to me. Whisper it in my ear, I will listen to your story_ ,”

“Did you ever find out who this song was about?” Key heard Max ask, though he was far too mesmerised by the man on stage to look away.

“No, he wouldn't tell me,” Minho answered. Key wondered when his hands had started shaking. “He just said it didn't matter because this person doesn't know how he feels anyway,”

“ _It's beautiful, give me all your scars. You're beautiful, it'll be alright when you're in my arms,_ ”

“Wait a sec, is he still hung up on that dude he keeps saying he has no chance with?” Max questioned. “He's been fawning over this mystery guy for over a month but he keeps saying they can't be together, now he writes a song about him? Seriously, just confess and get it over with!”

“ _It's beautiful, I want to hug you, come to me. It's beautiful, your existence alone is beautiful_ ,”

If Key thought his voice was beautiful when the man spoke, it was nothing compared to to when he sang. Kibum had goosebumps, Jonghyun's angelic voice washing over the student like a cool breeze in the middle of summer. Listening to Jonghyun made Kibum feel like he could breathe easily again, only to have that breath taken away when he tried.

“ _To the edge of my heart, waves of happiness endlessly come. When I see your smile, I am endlessly moved, amazingly blessed_ ,”

Key struggled to calm down his racing heart. He was over thinking things, he had to be. There was no way Jonghyun – talented, beautiful, way too far out of his league and much too old for him, Kim Jonghyun – would write a song about someone as plain as Kibum.

“ _Your existence alone is beautiful_ ,”

The song ended. Jonghyun's voice trailed off and silence followed before the entire pub exploded in applause.

Jonghyun ducked his head, smiling sheepishly, a blush covering the apples of his cheeks that Kibum found adorable.

When he lifted his head, he scanned the audience for Minho (something he had been too scared to do mid-song) but the eyes he found belonged to someone else.

These eyes were catlike, a warm shade of brown and sparkled each and every time they met Jonghyun's. Kibum. Kim Kibum was here and he had just watched Jonghyun bare his soul.

And he was standing right next to his best friend; there was no avoiding him now.

' _Toughen up, Jonghyun, he doesn't know the song was about him. It'll be fine_ ,' he thought as he slung his guitar case over his shoulder and made his way over to Minho, Max and, inevitably, Kibum.

Max wolf whistled and clapped him on the back.

“Way to go Jonghyun! You looked pretty damn fine up there, my friend,” Max congratulated, bringing back Jonghyun's blush. Jonghyun wasn't looking at Max, though, or even Minho for that matter. His eyes never left Kibum's. “Keep it up and one day you could be as great as me – but not quite, no one can be this perfect,”

Jonghyun let out a laugh, if not just to show he was paying attention.

Kibum gulped and offered a small smile, his dimple showing and making Jonghyun's heart flutter. That's when Jonghyun looked away.

“You were great, Jonghyun,” Minho said, “don't listen to Max,”

“Thanks, Min,” he said before gathering the last of his courage and adding a “hi, Kibum,” on the end.

“Hello, Mr. Kim,” Kibum responded, as though the man before him was nothing more than his teacher. Which, Kibum supposed, he wasn't anymore.

Jonghyun didn't say anything more, not to Kibum. He engaged Minho and Max in light conversation about their performances but he didn't seem his usual self. Kibum wondered if that was his fault.

The student felt more than awkward. He should leave; he didn't belong here, in this circle of friends, but he couldn't just leave – that would be too suspicious. Even if he did leave, where would he go? Taemin was nowhere in sight and he didn't belong with the rest of the students in the pub much like he didn't belong with Jonghyun, Minho and Max.

He sent a quick text out to Taemin.

 

**Where are you?**

 

Surprisingly, it only took a few minutes for him to get a reply.

 

**Just got to the bathroom ;) don't wait up for**   
**me hyung~**

 

 

**Be smart, use protection and don't leave any**   
**marks that'll get you in trouble with your parents**

 

With a groan and an eye roll, Kibum pocketed his phone.

“We're going to head off,” Minho announced to the group. Kibum tried to ignore the way Max was pressing small kisses to the side of Minho's neck, his hands trailing dangerously low. “Are you sticking around, Jonghyun?”

Maybe it was habitual, maybe it was pure instinct, or maybe it was the sheer fact that Jonghyun was always looking for the younger (whether he was consciously aware of it or not) but Jonghyun looked to Kibum.

The black-haired beauty stared at him with wide, almost begging eyes. Staring into those eyes, Jonghyun heard the silent plead of don't go, not yet. Who was Jonghyun to refuse such a request?

“Yeah, I think I will,” is what he told Minho, reluctantly pulling his eyes away from beautiful cat-shaped ones. “I'll catch up with you tomorrow,”

Minho nodded, “sounds like a plan. It was nice to see you, Kibum. I’ll see you at school on Monday,”

Kibum nodded, throwing a quick glance at Jonghyun, whose eyes were back on him, from under his lashes before smiling back at Minho and Max.

“See you around, headmaster Choi,” he said, and added, “it was nice to meet you, Max,”

“You too, kid,” Max replied, all but pushing Minho toward the exit.

The word, kid, felt like a dagger to Kibum's hopes. That's all he was, after all. He knew it wasn't meant as an insult and he really shouldn't be reacting to it like this, but it was hard not to when it felt like the biggest, if only, hurdle between him and Jonghyun was being thrown back in his face.

For a short while, the two just stood and watched each other. Both wanted to speak, but neither knew how to start the conversation. The looks they showed each other were full of things unsaid and while Jonghyun could read Kibum like an open book, Jonghyun was a little more closed off, a little better at hiding his feelings. Still, Key could swear that he saw a flicker of something in those chocolate orbs. Affection, he thinks it was, but maybe it was just the dim lighting of the pub and the thick, stuffy air filled with body odour and stale beer getting to his head and making him see things that weren't there.

“I didn't know you were going to be here tonight,” Jonghyun said, finally.

Key almost laughed at the sense of deja vu he got from the sentence. Wasn't it just last week, in a different time and different place, under different circumstances, they were in this same situation?

“I didn't know it mattered,” is what Kibum replied.

Jonghyun gave a shrug. (“Of course it matters,” he wanted to say. “You matter.”)

“I guess it doesn't,” is what he actually said.

“Jonghyun,” Key started, “that song...”

' _Here it comes. He knows_ ,' Jonghyun thought, his heart racing in a panic. He was suddenly too aware of their surroundings; Jonghyun's students, Kibum's classmates, were all around them. If they were really about to have this conversation, they couldn't have it here where so many people had the opportunity to overhear it.

“Do you want to go somewhere else?” Jonghyun asked, “Somewhere quieter?”

“Oh,” Key said dumbly, taken aback. He gave it a quick thought (Taemin wouldn't miss him, and it's not like Jonghyun isn't already aware of his feelings) before saying, “um, sure. Where?”

Jonghyun brought a hand up to scratch at the fine hairs on the nape of his neck.

“I, uh, I didn't think that far ahead,” he admitted.

Kibum's face heated up, pink covering his face at the idea that'd sprung to mind. Embarrassing (and strangely intimate, in Key's mind) as it was, they had no other ideas so he voiced his suggestion quietly.

“What about your car?”

 

 

 

 

They drove until they found somewhere secluded, where there were no bright streetlights shining them in the face and illuminating the feelings they knew they weren't hiding very well.

The ride was short, thankfully, but silent; too silent.

It wasn't the sort of silence Kibum usually takes comfort in when he's with Jonghyun, studying or reading while the other works. This silence was deafening; heavy and awkward and not something Key was used to when graced by the elder's presence.

“So,” Jonghyun said once they'd stopped. The car was off, but Jonghyun reached above them to turn on the small light above their heads. The low lighting made Kibum look even more ethereal than usual; shadows of his long lashes cast on his face and a small halo of light had formed on the crown of his head.

“So,” Key said as though he were agreeing with something Jonghyun had said. Avoiding Jonghyun's strong gaze and closing his eyes, clenching his fists, Kibum found his nerve. “That song you sang, Jonghyun, it-”

Key took a moment to compose himself so not to break into a mess of tears and shuddering breaths before he spoke again. Jonghyun was no longer looking at him, but down at his own lap.

“Yes,”

“Why?”

Jonghyun looked at him, finally, but there was confusion in his furrowed brow.

“What do you mean why?”

“I mean why would you write a song like that, sing it in front of so many people, when you know how I feel and you don't...you don't share those feelings. Do you?”

Jonghyun's voice was barely a whisper when he said, “yeah, I do,”

Kibum blinked, unsure he had heard correctly.

“What?” he breathed out.

“I have feelings for you, Kibum, even though I shouldn't,” he said with a dry laugh, though there was a soft smile on his face as he watched Key closely, “even though I've tried so hard not to. I've tried to ignore them, to think of you only as a student, but the truth is that you're so much more than that to me. I think of you day and night, I wonder what you're doing, if you're taking care of yourself. I want to take care of you. I want to play footsie with you under a café table and hold your hand while we walk home. I want-” he sucked in a shallow breath, like he needed to prepare himself for his next admission. “I want to kiss you all the time,”

Key's heart pounded against his ribs, blood rushing so fast he could hear it in his ears. He swallowed the lump that'd formed in his throat and shuffled closer to Jonghyun. Though it was uncomfortable with the distance of their chairs, plus the handbrake and gear-stick in between them, Key didn't mind because he could smell Jonghyun's cologne and feel the elder's breath on his face and see the way his eyes shone for Kibum and Kibum only.

“So kiss me,” he said.

Jonghyun's eyes darted to Kibum's lips before looking away completely. He couldn't avoid his gaze for long though, no matter what he always came back to Key and he knew it.

“I'm your teacher,” is what he said, but the way his tongue slid over his bottom lip said another thing entirely.

“You're Jonghyun,” Key said, a certain finality in his voice, “and I'm Kibum, and we want to be together, don't we?”

Jonghyun's Adam's apple bobbed and he nodded.

“Yeah, I think we do,”

“So just kiss me,” he purred, “I won't tell if you don't,”

Jonghyun sighed. How could he resist when Kibum was right there smelling so good and talking in that low, slow, seductive tone and all but begging Jonghyun to kiss him?

“No one can know about us, Key,” he said, “not even Taemin,”

With a smile, the student made a silent gesture of zipping up his lips, locking them and throwing away the key.

And so then, in the safety of Jonghyun's car, shrouded in darkness, Jonghyun bridged the gap and kissed him.


	4. 04

Key was awoken early the next morning by his phone ringing loud in his ear, Taemin's name flashing on the screen and accompanied by a picture of the younger, in it his dyed red hair is dishevelled and his mouth takes up more than half of his face thanks to his favourite Snapchat filter.

With a groan Kibum swiped to answer the call and pressed the phone to his ear. He threw his spare pillow over his head to block out the too-bright sunshine that was bleeding in through his curtains.

“Yoboseyo,” Key mumbled, voice thick with sleep.

“ _Rise and shine, sleepyhead_ ,” came Taemin's greeting. The younger sounded bright and bubbly and wide awake and Key just wasn't sure if he was equipped to handle this level of chirpiness when he'd just woken up. “ _You sound half-dead_ ,”

“I was asleep,” he said, “someone decided to call me at this ungodly hour, though,”

Taemin snickered. “ _Okay, I take credit for waking you but Key, this isn't exactly an ungodly hour_ ,”

“Yah! Do you know how early it is?”

“ _Uh, yeah, it's almost ten-thirty_ ,”

Kibum could practically feel the colour leaving his face. Nearly ten-thirty? It couldn't be!

(He quickly pulled his phone from his ear to check the time and it turned out that yes, it could be.)

“Shit!” he exclaimed, all but leaping out of the bed.

“ _Hyung, it's Sunday_ ,” Taemin said; Key had almost forgotten he was still on the phone, “ _what's the big deal_?”

“It's nothing, I just have a schedule,” he said. It wasn't a complete lie. “I must've slept through my alarm,”

Kibum does have a schedule and, going by that schedule, he was supposed to bring his mother breakfast nearly two and a half hours ago.

That's the way it's been for just over a year now; Kibum would wake up and make her breakfast (at seven-thirty on weekdays and eight on weekends, giving him that extra half-hour to sleep) he would leave some fruits on her bedside table to eat throughout the day and he would make her dinner at six every night, unless he was working or otherwise wouldn't be home, then he would make her a cup of soup and leave it on her bedside for her to eat when she was ready.

They had a schedule and, until recently, that schedule had been meticulous. Key had to admit that ever since he became friends with Taemin and got so wrapped up in Jonghyun, the schedule had been a bit...slack, and that was all on Kibum. He should've been home more often caring for her and not off doing his own thing with his friend or gallivanting around with his teacher.

He was her son, her caretaker, and it was his duty to give her the best quality of life possible in her condition. He had been selfish, he knew, but he couldn't seem to stop himself when the thought of no longer having Taemin and Jonghyun made his heart hurt.

“ _What were you doing last night that's made you so tired this morning_?” Taemin teased through the phone.

Kibum blushed. He quickly steadied his hands. He balanced the phone between his ear and shoulder and began preparing his mother's breakfast.

“Get your mind out of the gutter, it was nothing like that,” he defended quickly.

(Except, okay, maybe it was something like that. Jonghyun and Key had stayed in that dark corner of road for hours last night. Kibum remembers, in startling clarity, every touch, every press of lips, every slide of Jonghyun's tongue over his own, every soft/teasing/sweet/lust-filled word that was whispered in Kibum's ear.

He felt his face heat up as he remembered the way Jonghyun's hand found his thigh; the way the that hand would squeeze each time Key moaned or did something Jonghyun particularly liked. He began to shake as he recalled perfect teeth tugging at his plump lower teeth and tongue. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath when he thought about how Jonghyun's deep velvet voice sounded when it was breathless and thick with need and whispering sweet nothings into Kibum's ear.

They didn't do anything except kiss last night, and not once did they leave the confines of the car, at least not until Jonghyun dropped the younger home around three in the morning.)

“I was just up late studying for the maths test next week,” he covered.

“ _So you weren't playing naked twister with a certain Jaehyo hyung_?”

“WHAT?” Key yelled, almost dropping the knife in his hands, “Tae, what on earth made you think that?”

“ _Jaehyo hyung texted me last night to say his plans finished early and asked if you were still around, as far as I knew you were. He was going to come and surprise you since you were disappointed he wasn't going to be able to make it_ ,”

Key internally groaned.

He had forgotten the way he had been talking to Jaehyo. When he had said he wasn't free, Key was quick to act more disappointed than he was. He even used his aegyo to try and convince the slightly elder to cancel his plans and join he and Taemin. Who could blame him though? Key was freshly heartbroken and he knew that Jaehyo was weak against him. In hindsight, it was wrong of him to (repeatedly) use Jaehyo's feelings to validate himself, but what's done is done and there was no going back now.

Of course, now that he had Jonghyun, he was going to stop playing with the man who could be his friend. He had to tell Jaehyo, to his face, that Key only saw him as a friend – and hope that Jaehyo doesn't hate him for stringing him along and they can remain friends.

“I must've been gone by the time he got there,” Key said. Taemin's hum of approval on the other end of the line told Kibum he believed the lie. “But anyway, what did you get up to last night?”

“ _Well, we didn't have sex in his car because he's truly a gentleman, but we did make out in the bathroom, and he gave me the best handjob of my life – not that I have as much experience in that area as I'd like to, but still_ ,”

Key snorted. “Yeah, well, you're still doing better than me in the experience department,”

“ _Wait, Key, you're a virgin_?!” Taemin gasped. Kibum could just picture his wide eyes, mouth open in an 'o' and hands on his cheeks, much resembling an emoji Kibum is quite fond of. “ _I'm sure Jaehyo hyung would love to help you out with that_ ,”

Kibum would much rather Jonghyun help him out with that, but he didn't dare voice that thought.

“Aish, weren't we talking about you and Jinki?” he deflected; he had quickly learned that changing the subject was the best way to avoid Taemin's questions.

“ _Yes! So, anyway, we hung around for a little while after that, but just before we left, he kissed me in front of everyone! He drove me home, too, and kissed me goodnight; it was so sweet! He's so smart and cool, Kibum hyung, and I think he might even ask me to the spring dance_!”

Key frowned. He hadn't heard anything about a dance – which is exactly what he said to Taemin.

“Dance? What dance?”

“ _Oh, right, sorry the dance hasn't been announced to the school yet. Jinki hyung was telling me about his duties as student body president last night and he mentioned the dance. He's just going through with finalising all the dates and plans with headmaster Choi this week. I wouldn't worry too much about it just yet, there'll be plenty of time for you to find a date_ ,”

'Well. That's awkward,' Key thought. How the hell was he supposed to find a date and have fun at some high school dance when he was already involved with a teacher – a teacher who would more likely than not be chaperoning said dance?

Kibum was finishing up his mother's breakfast at this point, so he decided to say his goodbyes to Taemin.

“Tae, I have to go now, but I’ll see you at school tomorrow. Oh, and Taemin? I’m really happy for you and Jinki; I'm glad he treated you so well,”

“ _Thanks hyung, now we just need to find you a man_ ,”

Key rolled his eyes. “Goodbye, Taemin,”

“ _Goodbye, Key_ ,”

Key hung up and placed his phone on the island counter. He picked up the tray of breakfast he’d made and tiptoed cautiously down the hall to his mother’s door. He knocked gingerly and toed it open when he didn’t hear a response.

“Umma?” He called as he entered the room, “I have your breakfast,”

He flicked on the light, making sure to turn the dimmer almost all the way down before he does.

“You’re late,” she said. The venom in her voice made him shiver.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he said, taking another, smaller step into the room. “I was up late studying last night. I slept in,”

She just grunted as a reply and rolled over in her bed, pulling the blanket up over her head in the process. Key sighed, set the tray of food down and trundled back upstairs, this time to actually study.

He started with his history essay, but he barely gets a paragraph into the draft. The old war just not quite exciting enough to keep his attention that day, so he threw that book aside and pulled the next one in the pile onto his bed before him. It was his social studies assignment - the one he had to do with Jaehyo. Kibum wanted to hit himself with his book. He had forgotten all about this assignment, now he was going to have to reject Jaehyo’s advances and yet still complete this for a significant chunk of his grade.

This is just what he gets, he thought, for flirting with someone he was not interested in, instead of owning up to his feelings. He got stuck, doing this assignment with someone who thinks he’s into him. Key had never really tried causal dating (or any dating) nor is he all too familiar with flirting, but he knew that he had learned his lesson for life when it came to flirting with someone you don’t want a relationship with.

He decided to instead work on his maths homework. Maths, while mind-numbing at best, at least made him think of Jonghyun, and that’s something he thinks he can do all day. In all honesty, he didn’t get much actual studying done. Instead, he thought about the way Jonghyun kissed him in the car last night. He thought about how Jonghyun’s hands felt tangled in his hair and how his tongue tasted when he swiped at Key’s lower lip. Instead of working on his maths homework, he thought about his teacher in all the ways he probably shouldn’t.

It took a few hours, but he did manage to get all of his homework done. He didn’t want Jonghyun to have to scold him for not doing it, but he also didn’t want to force Jjong to play favourites. So, like a good student and a good boyfriend, Key did his homework. When he finally realised the time again, it was late afternoon and Kibum could squeal because he and Jonghyun had a date planned for tonight.

He showers quickly, spent far too long on his hair and changed outfits about five times before he decided on a pair of black skinny jeans, a plain white tee and tan leather jacket (that he spent almost three paycheques saving for).

He made sure his bb cream was flawless and his eyeliner was even. He took extra care with the gloss he spread over his lips - he knew Jonghyun loved them already, but it was his duty to make his boyfriend crazy. He’s ready just in time to head to the cafe, where Jonghyun will be picking him up from to go to the ‘surprise venue’ as Jonghyun had called it when they arranged it last night.

“Mum, I’m going out!” Key called out into the hall as he slipped on his shoes by the door.

He didn’t expect a reply, he never does and he never gets one. His mother didn’t speak too much anymore, she barely left her room unless it’s to shower, and even then it’s at Kibum’s insistence.

That’s why it made Kibum freeze in his tracks when his mother said, “Where?”

He turned and there she was, in pyjamas and a dressing gown, hair a mess and looking still half-asleep. Kibum’s mother was outside of her room and speaking, willingly, and Kibum could cry he was so excited.

“Umma,” he smiled, “You’re up!”

She didn’t smile back. Her features were angry - as angry as they were the day she became like this. Key hasn’t seen her smile in years. His shoulders tensed in preparation for what he knew was coming next.

“ _Where_ are you going?” She repeated, looking like a villain from a horror movie. If looks could kill, Kibum would be a goner.

“O-out,” he said lamely, tacking on “with some friends,”

She scoffed a laugh, “Oh, I see. You’re Mr. Popular now! You have _friends_ and you have money to blow going out now, do you?”

Her voice was raising with every word, and with every word Kibum was shrinking down, down and back into the shell that Jonghyun and Taemin were just starting to bring him out of.

“It’s okay,” He pulled out his phone and typed out a quick text to Jonghyun, cancelling due to family problems, “see? I won’t go. I just texted that I’m not going,” Key surrendered, taking off his shoes.

He could feel his lower lip trembling. She was glaring down at him, hands on her hips and looking completely wild. Kibum hadn’t seen her like this in a long time and it scared him more than he remembered.

Kibum’s phone started ringing and Jonghyun’s name began flashing across the screen. He went to answer, but hesitated - he didn’t want Jonghyun to think he’s being stood up but he also didn’t want to give his mother any more ammunition.

“Well, aren’t you going to get that, Mr. Popular?” She hissed, her tone of voice like poison to Kibum, breaking down every fibre of his being with each syllable.

He thought it would be worse if he disobeyed and ignored it, so he answerd.

“Yoboseyo?”

“ _Bummie_?” Jonghyun’s voice called from the other end, and somewhere inside Kibum knew it was comforting. “ _I just wanted to call and check in. Make sure everything’s okay. I’m a bit worried since you said it’s family troubles. Is your mother okay? Are you okay?_ ”

The genuine concern in his voice hurt Kibum, because he knew he didn’t deserve Jonghyun. Not when he hasn’t been honest about his family, and not when he hasn’t been honest about Jaehyo.

“I’m fine, I just can’t come out tonight,” he said, and that’s when his mother started screaming.

“YOU DON’T WANT TO BE HERE!” She cried. Kibum’s eyes widened at the outburst and he hoped to all gods that Jonghyun couldn’t hear her. “YOU HATE ME! HE HATES ME! MR. POPULAR WANTS TO LEAVE HIS MOTHER ALL ALONE LIKE THE SELFISH BITCH HE IS!”

“ _Kibum, what’s going on? Are you safe? I’m wo-”_

Kibum didn’t let him finish the sentence - he didn’t want Jonghyun hearing any more of what his life at home could really be like.

“Jonghyun, I have to go,” he said and hung up before he could protest. He showed his mother the phone, “I’m done, I’m off the ph-”

“JUST LEAVE! GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT KIM KIBUM GET OUT!” Her screaming didn’t stop. She reached over for one of the fake succulents that Key got to decorate the kitchen and lobbed it at his head. He ducked, throwing his arms up in protection and ran back upstairs to his room.

He doesn’t cry until his bedroom door is closed and he is tucked away under the safety of his duvet. For a minute, he regretted turning down his grandmother’s offer of a good life in return for his mother being put in a home. He was younger then, and he didn’t fully understand what looking after her would mean for him, for his life. He didn’t know then that to help her live her life he was sacrificing his own, and for just a minute he let himself regret it.

All he wanted to do is to call Jonghyun, to see him and to run into his arms and cry until he has no tears left, but he didn’t want to cause more trouble than he’s worth, so he didn’t call Jonghyun. He doesn’t even call Taemin. He just lay in bed, alone, and cried himself to sleep.

 

 

∆

 

 

Kibum intentionally avoided walking past Jonghyun’s classroom for as long as he could the following Monday. He felt a little guilty, first he cancelled their date and then he avoided him, but he just couldn’t shake the embarrassment he was feeling. Not only did he have to cancel, but then Jonghyun heard his mother acting like that…it was almost too much for the student to handle. So, he avoided the classroom. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean he could also avoid Jonghyun, as he saw the elder walking the opposite way in one of the halls. He dipped his head to avoid eye contact, and blatantly ignored the teacher’s greeting of “hello, Kibum,”

The guilty feeling grew until Key felt like it could swallow him whole.

He barely ate his lunch that day, either, choosing to just mush the chicken and potatoes with his fork. Taemin bounded over happily, tray of food in his hands and boy-toy student body president trailing behind him, equally happy. Kibum was happy for Taemin, especially when he sees the way Jinki looked at him, but there was a small part of him that was jealous because he couldn’t be as open with his own relationship.

“Hey, umma,” Tae greeted as he plopped down on the seat before Key. Jinki sat beside him and gave Key a polite smile. Key smiled back, to the best of his ability. Taemin slid two posters toward Key, one was black and white with classy lettering, the other was bright and colourful with a more funky font, but both were advertising the same thing - the stupid spring dance, “which of these posters is better?”

“What? Are you head of the dance committee now?” Key snapped in reply. He didn’t mean to, but the dance was just another thing on a long list of things Key had to worry about, because of course he couldn’t take his teacher-boyfriend to his high school dance.

“What crawled up your ass and died this morning?” Taemin frowned.

“I’m sorry,” Key sighed and pointed to the colourful poster, “I like that one. It’s more…springy,”

“I like that one too!” Taemin beamed at Jinki, “I told you he has good taste,”

Onew smiled so sweetly back at Taemin it kinda made Key want to gag.

“You realise your boyfriend doesn’t know anything about my taste, right?” He said and he doesn’t fail to notice the deer-in-headlights look Jinki got when Key said the ‘B’ word. _Shit_. Did he just make things awkward between the new couple? “Oh, I mean, uh, is that…um, what your relationship is?”

‘Nice going, Key, that’s going to fix it,’ he mentally reprimanded.

“Oh,” it was Jinki that started, “well, I mean, I haven’t asked him yet but,” he looked at Taemin, “I mean I’d like you to be my boyfriend,”

Taemin smiled and kissed him and Key is just reminded of all the things he doesn’t have.

Taemin looked like he was about to cry when Key told him they should be heading to their lockers, meaning he wouldn’t be able to continue kissing Jinki like no one was looking. They got their books and the bell rings to signal the end of lunch, which meant it was time for Key and Taemin make their way to their maths class. Kibum considered going home sick, or skipping, just to avoid seeing Jonghyun. It was stupid and irrational, though, so he did no such thing.

Kibum barely spared Jonghyun a glance when he walked in, but Jonghyun’s eyes didn’t leave the boy. Not until everyone was in class, or almost everyone.

“Alright class,” Jonghyun announced, “it looks like we will be having _another_ student joining us as Mr. Jung’s maths class is a little full this semester, so some of his students have been reallocated to different classes. His name is, oh, here he is now,”

The student in question walked in, wearing ripped skinny jeans and his famed faded leather jacket. Kibum’s heart sank but Taemin seemed to perk up beside him.

“Everyone, this is Jaehyo. Jaeyo, take a seat wherever you’d like,” Jonghyun advised.

Though it had no right to, jealousy bubbled in the pit of his stomach when Jaehyo took the seat beside Kibum. He wouldn’t care as much if it were any other student, but Jonghyun hadn’t seen any other student on a _study date_ with Kibum. Not to mention the fact that he and Kibum have to hide their relationship, and now the younger was avoiding him. Maybe he was already regretting it, Jonghyun couldn’t help but think.

“Jaehyo,” Kibum almost stammered when he was greeting the other boy, “I didn’t know you were being moved,”

“Neither did I,” Jaehyo replied, “it’s good though, right? Now we can see each other more,”

There was something about the smile he gave Kibum that made the black-haired student uneasy. Still, he smiled and nodded because after all the flirting he’d been doing with this guy, what else could he do?

“Kim Kibum,” Jonghyun’s voice was stern, and when Kibum looked he even seemed a little angry, “you know better than to talk during class. Come see me after school,”

Jaehyo raised an eyebrow at his new teacher’s attitude, and decided to speak up.

“But sir, I was talking too,” there was a sort of challenge in his voice that didn’t go unnoticed by Kibum or Jonghyun. Both decided to ignore it, though.

“You’re new to this class, you can be forgiven for not knowing better,” Jonghyun told him,“this once,”

The rest of the day passed like a blur for Key, mostly because he was too busy panicking about what to say to Jonghyun when he saw him after school. Would Jonghyun be mad? Sad? Was he going to break up with Kibum because he was too much of a child for an adult relationship? He hoped not, but there was no point dwelling any further as he arrived at the classroom.

He knocked twice before poking his head in through the crack.

“Hello, Mr. Kim,” He greeted, despite his longing to call Jonghyun by his name.

“Kibum,” Jonghyun returned in greeting. Kibum leaned against one of the desks in the front row, while Jonghyun was leaning up against his own desk. There was nothing but a safe, teacher-student distance between them, yet it somehow felt like there was an obstacle blocking their path.

There was a brief moment of silence that passed between them before Jonghyun spoke again.

“Kibum, why are you avoiding me?” He asked, and Kibum was a little surprised when the tone of his voice was a little more personal than professional.

“I’m not,” he replied but it sounded like a lie, even to his own ears.

“You are,” Jonghyun pushed, taking a step closer to Kibum, “You cancelled on me last night, you sounded like you were in a rush to get rid of me - I could hear someone _screaming_ , Key I was so worried and today its like you don’t care! I'm-” he must have realised he was starting to shout, because he continued in a hushed tone, “I’m your boyfriend, aren’t I?”

“Of course,” Key responded with a serious frown, yet he still couldn’t bring himself to look at Jonghyun properly. “You know how I feel about you,”

“So show me,” Jjong said, “Let me worry about you, let me care about you. Let me _in_ , Kibum. Don’t avoid me when things aren’t perfect, because they never will be. Not truly,”

Kibum finally lifted his gaze to meet Jonghyun’s intense stare. His head was a mess, between this secret romance with his teacher and the dance, the whole thing he’d gotten himself into with Jaehyo and his mother’s sudden plunge off the deep end, it was all a bit too much for Kibum. He wanted to let Jonghyun in, he did, but he didn’t know where to start.

‘ _I’m sick of talking_ ,’ Key thought and flung himself into Jonghyun’s strong arms, lips latching onto Jonghyun’s like it was his last chance.

Jonghyun didn’t miss a beat before pushing Kibum away.

“Key, what the hell?” He snapped, “we’re in school! Do you want me to get arrested?”

Kibum pressed a hand to his lips, immediately regretting his actions. What if someone had seen them? How could he be so careless? It wasn’t just Jonghyun’s job he was putting at risk but his life, too.

“I...I’m sorry,” Key stammered, but the distressed look on Jonghyun’s face served to be more than Kibum could handle at the moment, and Key broke into sobs.

“Shit, Key,” Jonghyun’s arms were around him immediately. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped, I’m so sorry, I’m a terrible boyfriend, I’ll be better for you, I promise. You know I want to kiss you too,”

Kibum chuckled at Jonghyun’s sweet actions and he wiped at his face.

“It’s not that,” he assured, “I shouldn’t have kissed you like that, not here. I just...things are so full on at home, and there’s this stupid dance coming up and of course I can’t go with you and then-” he stopped himself. This wasn’t the time to be telling Jonghyun that he had, up until a few days ago, been leading on a fellow student in order to get over Jonghyun.

“Well I can’t help with the dance problem right now, but why don’t you tell me what’s going on at home?”

So he did. For the first time in his life, Kibum let someone else in completely. He told Jonghyun about the accident his dad was in while on his way to pick Kibum up from school, told him about the spiral of depression and substance abuse that his mother fell into afterwards. He told him about how they both blame Key, so Key took it upon himself to care for her. He even told Jonghyun about the feelings of regret he’d been having.

“Bummie, I’m so sorry,” he said, placing a professional hand on Kibum’s shoulder in case anyone happened to pass by. He wanted to take the younger in his arms again, but he didn’t want to tempt fate. “You know it’s not your fault though, right? You shouldn’t be blaming yourself for a freak accident,”

“But if he wasn’t coming to pick me up then...”

“No, listen to me,” Jonghyun said, “it’s _not_ your fault,”

Key sniffled and nodded, if not just to please Jonghyun. He wasn’t quite sure he believed it just yet but give it time and maybe Jonghyun could actually help him turn his life around.

Kibum looked at the time and saw that he had to leave in order to make it to his shift on time. Jonghyun offered to drive him, but Kibum thinks he had risked enough attention already. So, they said goodbye with friendly waves. Jonghyun promised that he’ll be there when Key’s shift ends. He promises he’ll give Key all of the kisses he couldn’t give today.

Kibum blushed furiously and gave Jonghyun one last shy smile before turning and jogging off the school grounds. Jonghyun decided in that moment that he will do whatever it took to support him and make sure he never goes without. In that moment, he promised himself he would do whatever it takes to be the only one Key needs.


	5. 05

Kibum was sick of all of the spring dance ads plastered all over the school. Every large poster, every small flyer seemed like it was mocking him. It was impossible to escape - from the semi-famous band that was advertised to be playing, The Rose, to the stupid Over the Rainbow theme. The slogan _Magical! Wonderful! Colourful!_ was plastered all over the school and as if that wasn’t bad enough, it seemed that every corner he turned there was another stall with a couple of seniors trying to sell him tickets and reminding him “colours only! None of those boring, black suits!”

He wanted to go, he did, but how could he? He supposed he could go alone and spend the whole night watching one of the chaperones - his teacher, his _boyfriend_ \- and sure, maybe he could dance with Taemin or one of his friends, but he would spend the whole night wishing he could be dancing with Jonghyun.

“Key!” He heard a familiar voice call and spun to see Taemin rushing to catch up to him. Key stopped, smiled and waved to Taemin (and the student body president trailing along behind him). “Key!” He called once more, coming to a stop before Key and briefly crouching down, hands on his knees, to catch his breath.

Onew put his hand gently on Taemin’s shoulder and Kibum smiled at the way Tae placed his hand on Onew’s in a silent show of thanks and affection. Key wanted that sort of casual intimacy and openness with Jonghyun more than anything, but he knew better than to expect it.

“Hey Tae, Jinki,” Key greeted with a nod to each student. Taemin wasted no time rushing in for a hug and then promptly pulling away and landing a solid punch to Key’s shoulder. _“Ow!_ ”

“Long time no talk?” Taemin grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest. “You’ve been a bit of an absent friend lately,”

Key did his best not to sigh. He’s been a bad friend and he knew it, but between Jonghyun and his mum he just felt like that’d used up all the energy he had left to deal with these past weeks. He’s going through things - things he could _never_ tell Taemin, his best friend, about. He was having an a secret affair with his teacher, things were happening for him!

Though, he supposed, things were happening for Taemin, too. He was in his first real relationship with the most popular boy at a school he was relatively new to - it may not have been the same thing, not even on the same scale, but Kibum loves Taemin and he knew he should be more considerate of what his friend is going through.

So, deciding to finally pull his head out of his ass, Kibum replied, “I know. I’m so sorry, Tae, things have been hectic but that’s no excuse for being a shitty friend. There’s still twenty minutes before we have to get to class, if you aren’t too busy I’d love to spend some time with you,”

There was a pause where Kibum thought that Taemin would say no, would agree that Kibum’s been the worst friend and decide he can do better. Then, Taemin broke into a smile and some of the tension Key has had pent up seemed to leave. Taemin turned to Onew and told him something quietly, finishing his sentence with a kiss to the cheek. Onew smiled so softly at Taemin that Key felt his heart warm for his friends (and he let himself wonder, just for a second, if Jonghyun ever looked at him like that). With one last wave goodbye, Jinki left and Taemin rushed to Key’s side, grabbing his bicep as they started to walk along the school halls.

“I’m glad you wanted to talk, actually,” Taemin started. There was a hint of excitement in his voice that scared Key a little. “I was going to call you after your shift tonight,”

“I’m scared to ask,” came Key’s reply.

“Well, there may be a teeny, tiny chance that I set up a date for you this Friday,”

Key froze and immediately went to protest. Ever since Key had started seeing Jonghyun and finally managed to convince Taemin that he wasn’t interested in Jaehyo, he had a new challenge to face; Taemin’s setups. He couldn’t seem to convince Taemin that he didn’t want or need to be set up, and since he couldn’t come out and tell the truth, he was running out of reasons to say no.

“Now before you protest, just hear me out!” Taemin continued, “I know you keep saying you aren’t interested, and you’ve rejected my last five dates for you, but Key, I see the way you look when you see me with Onew - you want that! It’s so obvious! Not to mention the dance is coming up and you deserve to have that perfect high school experience; a dance, a date, some groping in the bathroom. I want you to be happy Key, especially now that Jinki is taking up so much of my time too. Just give this one a chance, I promise Luhan is great! If it ends terribly, I swear I’ll stop trying,”

Kibum really didn’t have a reason to say no to that. Taemin is his best friend and he was trying to do something nice for Kibum. Key just hoped that Jonghyun would understand that side of it.

“Okay, fine,” Key agreed, though it pained him, “just one date can’t be so bad,”

“Yes!” Taemin exclaimed with an excited hop and a fist pump, “score one for Taemin! Now, come with me, I need to buy Onew and my tickets to the dance,”

They headed to the next stall and while Taemin was busy speaking to the girl with bubblegum pink hair who was selling tickets, Kibum let his mind wander. He could imagine it all in such vivid detail; how good Jonghyun would look in his coloured suit, how sweet he would taste as they stole kisses in a bathroom stall, how warm and safe he would feel in Jonghyun’s arms when they’re hidden away in his car at the end of the night. One perfect high school moment.

And before he could think too much about it, Kibum was asking the girl with the bubblegum pink hair for two tickets of his own.

 

 

 

 

Kibum wasn’t one hundred percent sure that they should be doing this here. They were a block away from the school, in the safety of Jonghyun’s car. Somewhere in the background Key registered the low music playing, the deep voice of some American pop-folk artist that Jonghyun liked. Jonghyun’s warm hands were on Key’s face and he was kissing the boy like he’d never get the chance to do it again.

“Is this safe?” Kibum mumbled against Jonghyun’s lips, but the elder shushed him softly as he continued to kiss his boyfriend. Key wasn’t quite convinced - he was worried that they would get caught and he would be the reason for ruining Jonghyun’s life.

“Someone might see,” he continued, though he couldn’t bring himself to stop kissing Jonghyun.

Jonghyun was the one that broke their kiss.

“Bummie, don’t worry, this place is out of the way enough that no one will notice,” he stroked Key’s face and brushed a strand of hair behind his ear, punctuations it with a kiss to his bow-shaped lips. “We just have to enjoy what we have for now,”

Key gave a small smile and a nod and leaned over and kissed Jonghyun again.

Jonghyun was right, Key knew he was. These moments, hidden away from the world, were the only moments they had right now and Key wanted to cherish all of them. One day, maybe, Key hoped they wouldn’t have to hide anymore, but for now he’s happy with these stolen kisses.

Kibum’s alarm rung loud and cut through the soft mood. He let his lips leave Jonghyun’s and slumped back in his seat with a soft groan. Jonghyun was giving him an adorable pout that almost made Kibum stay.

“Time to go,” Key said with a small smile.

“Do you really have to?” Jonghyun asked, pout in place and hand resting on Key’s knee.

“Uh, yeah, my lunch break is almost over and I need to get walking now if I want to get to _your_ class on time,”

“I can drive you,”

Jonghyun looked hopeful, so Kibum leaned over and kissed him. “We already agreed, you can’t treat me differently,”

Jonghyun let out a sigh and offered a light squeeze to Kibum’s knee. “I know, I just...I want more time with you. I know it’s selfish and this is the way it has to be right now, and I’m okay with it, I just wish,”

Kibum gave him a smile in return, but there was something, a look behind the glimmer in his eye that was a little sad. “Maybe if we met in another life, but we met in this one,”

Jonghyun kissed him this time, cupping his face gently. “We can make this life work. I know we can,”

“Me too,” Key agreed, “but I really do have to go now,”

So with ill concealed reluctance, Jonghyun kissed him one last time (“for the road,” he had claimed) and let him leave.

Jonghyun made it to the classroom long before Kibum did. In fact, he barely made it by the first bell, which is very unlike Key and only served to make Jonghyun feel bad. He knew it was selfish to keep Kibum and now he was making him almost late to class, maybe Jonghyun really _was_ bad for him.

That thought was ushered away once Kibum flashed him that smile while on his way to his desk. That smile that told Jonghyun “I cannot wait to do it again,” and “I don’t regret a thing,” all at once. Jonghyun smiled back and hoped no one noticed the way his eyes lit up and his gaze lingered a touch too long.

Jonghyun started the class with some homework revision, allowing everyone to work silently with their textbooks so he could finish grading yesterday’s homework. He had stayed up on the phone to Key a little too late last night and hadn’t gotten it all done, something that was coming back to bite him today. It was all going well, at least until another student walked in late.

His boots hit the ground with a loud thud at the end of each step. He draped his faded leather jacket over his chair and let his textbooks drop onto the desk carelessly and landing in a bang that almost shook Kibum.

“You’re late,” Jonghyun pointed out.

“Sorry,” Jaehyo said, slumping into his seat beside Key. “I’m here now,”

Jonghyun shook his head with a “don’t let it happen again,” and goes back to back to grading the homework. He doesn’t quite know what It was about Jaehyo, but something bugged him. He knew, in his mind, that he has no reason to be so bitter toward the student, he just couldn’t seem to get his heart on the same page.

Jonghyun’s ears don’t perk up again until he hears another of Jaehyo’s comments.

“That colour suits you,” Jaehyo says, leaning into Kibum’s personal space and unaware of Jonghyun’s burning gaze, “Is that what colour you’re wearing to the dance? I’ll have to coordinate; I don’t want to make you look bad, or, y’know, ruin our pictures,”

And then; ‘ _oh,_ ’ Jonghyun suddenly realises why he dislikes Jaehyo so much - he has a thing for Key.

If he was being honest with himself, he had kind of known since he saw Key and Jaehyo together at the cafe. Sure, Key told him that it was just a study date, and Jonghyun has no reason not to trust Key, but he should’ve known. Key is beautiful and smart and kind, why wouldn’t Jaehyo like him?

He shook his head and tried to shrug it off. Kibum is _his_ boyfriend and he has no reason to be jealous. It’s not like Jaehyo has any reason to think he has a chance, anyway.

“What?” Key sputters in reply, not expecting the comment. At all.

Even though he had bought tickets, he hadn’t been thinking of actually going to the dance. The tickets were a long shot and it’s not like he could go - not with the person he wanted to go with, anyway. Taemin had offered this morning for him to join him and Jinki, but Key knew better than to accept. Taemin just didn’t want him to go alone, which he appreciated, but Key didn’t want to ruin his friend’s date.

“Oh, sorry,” Jaehyo said with a small smile, “I didn’t mean to assume, I just thought you would be going with me. I don’t see any other romantic prospects for you, anyway. Am I wrong?”

“Oh, well, I-” Kibum started to tell him he wasn’t actually going - at all, with anyone - but Jaehyo wasn’t hearing it.

“Good,” Jaehyo cut Key off with what Kibum imagines would have been a swoon-worthy smile, if he wasn’t already head over heels for someone else.

Jonghyun, at the head of the class and snarling silently as he graded, didn’t miss a beat of the exchange, and it caused a bubble of anger to boil from deep down. On the second page of Kibum’s homework, he leaves a sticky note with a message that reads;

_I’ll come and visit you at work tonight, Jjongie xx_

 

 

 

 

The first ten times the doorbell chimed, it wasn’t Jonghyun. This cafe wasn’t very big on the night life - Key had asked his boss a billion times why they stay open so late, and every time his boss would just shrug. The pre-work or school coffee rushes, brunches and lunch rushes they got on an almost daily basis meant they made enough to cover what they didn’t make from five-thirty pm onwards. Between the hours of five-thirty and eight-thirty, when the sun was just setting and the streets lost their bustle to an eerie silence, they usually got less than fifteen customers. It was safe to say that, at this point, Kibum was starting to feel a bit disheartened.

He didn’t even bother looking up from his magazine after the twelfth small chime that let him know there was another customer who would soon be wanting his attention. Key turned the page of the magazine with a flick of his wrist so sharp he almost gave himself whiplash.

‘Why did he give me that note if he wasn’t even going to show?’ Kibum thought with the sort of pathetic tone that made him glad no one else could hear it.

Just as soon as the thought passed his mind, Amber was at his side.

“Hey,” she said in an almost whisper, “your boy is here,”

That was enough to make Kibum look up.

There he was. Jonghyun. With a closed-lip, bashful smile planted firmly on his face and a small wave he managed to steal Kibum’s heart all over again.

He cleared his throat weakly and said, “he isn’t my boy,”

He didn’t see it but he knew Amber rolled her eyes at that. Even Key himself knew that they weren’t hiding it as well as they should be. He wished he could find it in him to care more, but it was difficult when Jonghyun was tempting him with the promise of sweet , stolen kisses.

“Yeah, right,” she said, noting the way Key didn’t take his eyes off of Jonghyun as the elder took his seat, “he only visits almost every night, and walks you home, and always waits until you’re at the register to order, and sits in your section and walks you ho-”

“I get it!” Key snapped, throwing a quick glare over his shoulder at her. “We’re just friends. That’s it,”

“You keep telling yourself that - or maybe try telling _him_ that,” she removed her apron in one swift motion and hung it on a hook behind the counter. I’m done, kitchen’s closed and cleaned. See you tomorrow, Key,”

Key muttered a goodbye and checked the clock behind him, he hadn’t noticed that it was already just-passed eight. What took Jonghyun so long? He decided to ask.

“What took you so long?” He bounded out from behind the counter and landed firmly at Jonghyun’s side. He let on hand rest easily on Jonghyun’s shoulder while the other was on his thigh.

“I’m sorry,” Jjong answered, bringing his hand to rest on Key’s as he greeted him with a quick kiss, “I knew Amber finished at eight and I wanted to talk to you alone,”

That sentence worried Kibum. “Oh? What’d you want to talk about?”

Was Jonghyun about to break up with him?

Jonghyun’s eyes darted down to his lap and then back at Kibum. He looked around, making sure they were truly alone, and gestured for Key to take a seat.

With a furrowed brow, Key sat on the chair opposite Jonghyun gingerly. Sometime over the past minute or so Kibum’s hands had started shaking, something that tends to happen when he is anxious.

Over the sound of his heart pounding in his ears, he managed to ask, “Jonghyun, what’s wrong?”

“Actually,” Jonghyun is looking at his hands in his lap and fiddling with the hem of his black turtle-neck, “it’s about what happened in class - what Jaehyo said. I get it if he likes you, I do. You’re beautiful and funny and-” he stops himself and shoots Key a soft smile, “not the point, you know how I feel about you, but I just don’t get…why he would assume you’re going to the dance with him. I tried to tell myself I’m being paranoid, that he’s delusional, that he has no reason to think you’re interested in him. I just…I need _you_ to tell me that. I need you to tell me I’m being crazy, feeling threatened by Jaehyo,”

 _Shit_.

Kibum’s heart was pounding so hard it _hurt_. He had to tell Jonghyun the truth - that he had led Jaeyho on and never really turned him away since.

His throat felt dry, and his voice shook with every word. “No, Jonghyun, of course you have nothing to be threatened about! I have no feelings for Jaehyo, at all!”

He should’ve left it there. He should have zipped his mouth shut and threw away the Key, but the sad puppy eyes Jonghyun was shooting him kept him talking. He owed Jonghyun the truth (and he needed to be honest with Jaehyo).

“But,” he continued. Jonghyun could hear the shame laced in his voice and it made his heart hurt before Kibum had said anything more, “before we were together, when I thought nothing could come of this and I was trying to get over you, I went out with him a couple of times. I kind of…let him believe I liked him back, when really I was just using him to make myself feel better about you,”

It took Jonghyun a moment to process that - a moment where he couldn’t even _think_ to look at Key.

“Oh,” he said, “oh. Okay. That’s okay. I get that. He knows you’re not interested anymore though, right?”

The way Jonghyun was looking at Key reminded him of a kicked puppy. Big round eyes that seemed to shine we’re begging him to say yes, to say what he needed to hear. But he was beginning because they both already knew the answer.

“Not explicitly,” Key muttered.

He really was the worst. A bad son who could barely look after his mother; a bad friend who blew off his bestie for a new boy and bad boyfriend, who let other guys think it was okay to flirt with him. And the thing about Jaehyo wasn’t even the Big Thing he needed to talk to Jonghyun about tonight. How would Jonghyun react especially now, to the news that Kibum was going to go on a date? Yep - Kibum was getting dumped tonight.

Jonghyun’s face twisted into a frown. The look of pure hurt and confusion in his eyes was like a punch in the gut to Key.

“I got so caught up in you and in us, Jaehyo completely left my mind,”

“Wait, wait,” Jonghyun, in an attempt to gather his thoughts, screwed his eyes shut and shook his hand. When he opened them again he couldn’t look at Kibum, “so, the whole time we’ve been together, you’ve had another guy out there trying to get with you and you’ve _let_ him?”

When Key didn’t defend himself, he continued, his voice rising with every word, “I know we’re a secret, Kibum, but that’s for a reason! I thought you understood that! I thought you knew how much I want to be with you in public but it has to be this way for now so I don’t go to _jail_! If that’s not enough for you then why are you with me?”

Kibum could feel the tears pooling in his eyes but he refused to let them fall in front of Jonghyun - not from pride, but because he knows Jonghyun’s anger will calm a little if he does and Jonghyun deserves to be angry.

The can of worms had been opened now, there was no going back. He couldn’t get this far only to lie about the most important thing: he’s going on a date this Friday.

“That’s not all,” his voice was shakier than expected, and so thin he was amazed Jonghyun could hear him, “Taemin set me up on a date this Friday. I tried to say no, but I’ve rejected so many already he’s getting suspicious. He thinks I’m his single friend; he has no reason to think otherwise. I-I couldn’t get out of this one, but he promised this is the last! He said if it goes bad then no more trying to set me up!”

Jonghyun’s silence scared Kibum but he wouldn’t force him fo speak.

“I can’t deal with this right now,” Jonghyun mumbled mostly to himself as he stood from the table. “I need to go, I’ll see you around, Key,”

 _Key_.

Jonghyun almost never called him Key, so maybe this really was over.

He watched with a heavy heart and tear-blurred eyes as Jonghyun left. He wanted more than anything to run after him, but he couldn’t afford to lose possibly the great love of his life and his job in the same night.

 

 

 

 

He really didn’t think his night could get any worse. He also should’ve known he had jinxed himself just by thinking that.

He unlocked the front door with one hand while the other was occupied with a paper bag filled with two-day-old muffins, scones and croissants - otherwise known as tonight’s dinner and tomorrow’s lunch. He hasn’t had time to go food shopping recently and he desperately needed to. Before Jonghyun and Taemin (two people that Key considered to be two of the best things to happen to him) Kibum barely had time for himself between work, school and home commitments. Now he was spreading himself so thin he was amazed he had time to even think about food.

He shrugged off his schoolbag and kicked the door shut behind him with his heel as he dragged his feet into the kitchen. He filled the old croissants with last of the cheese block in the fridge, grating it finely to make it last, and the ham from the lunch he didn’t eat today and toasted them under the grill for a fee minutes. It wasn’t much, but it was food and he should be grateful for it. Still, he couldn’t help but think about how nice it would be just for once to cook a full meal with all fresh ingredients or better yet, go somewhere fancy and not have to cook at all. He sighed thinking about the cost of eating well as he placed the croissants on plates.

‘ _My signature dish_ ,’ he thought with a bitter edge as he shuffled toward his mother’s room, ‘ _leftovers_ ,’

He knocked on the door twice before entering.

“Mum? I’m home, I have dinner,” he called into the darkness of the room. His hand felt around the wall for the light switch but when he flicked it on the room remained dark. “Umma? Why can’t I turn on the light?”

There was a pregnant pause, and then, “I took out the globe. It was too bright,”

Kibum frowned and stepped gingerly into the room, “that’s dangerous,” he mumbled, knowing she wouldn’t care to respond.

He stuck a hand out in the dark, searching for her bedside lamp and stumbling a little until he found the pull chain. When he pulled it the room lit just enough for him to make out his mother’s face. Kibum frowned when he noticed the towel that had been thrown over the lampshade.

“Bright,” she said, as though that explained her behaviour.

He set the plate down on her bedside table and sat gently on the very edge of her bed, afraid that being too close might set her off. “Umma, what’s going on?”

“It’s too bright,” she repeated, looking from Kibum to the food beside her.

Kibum took a moment to notice how sunken her cheeks were and how dark the circles around her eyes. She was too thin, all bones and skin. He remembered a time, that felt not too long ago, when she seemed so beautiful Kibum wondered how she was old enough to have a son in high school. A time when she was so happy she almost _glowed_. Kibum missed that time but he didn’t know how he could get that back.

He noticed the way her face screwed up at the food. “Can’t even feed me right,” she muttered with clear disdain.

“I’m sorry,” he said, though for some reason he didn’t feel as bad as he thought maybe he should have. “It’s all I could manage tonight. I’ll go food shopping soon”

Without another word, she broke into sobs as she rolled away from Kibum and the offensive light. Kibum let out a resigned sigh - her mood-swings we’re starting to give him whiplash. He could never calm her down when she got like this. He has learned from experience that it’s best to leave her alone.

He reached over and placed a kiss on her forehead (or what of it he could reach at this angle) and said, “eat, and get some rest,” and he left the room.

It wasn’t until he was halfway back to his room, wondering if he should call Jonghyun to grovel, give Taemin a call for a distraction or actually get some homework done, that the realisation hit him; he couldn’t keep doing this. He physically _couldn’t_. It was her or him.

His mother was unhealthy but it was no longer just mental. She was thin and sickly and Kibum didn’t have the time or the money to help her. He only wanted to help but he was slowly starving her to death. He supposed he could quit school and work more hours, but was he willing to give up what was left of his teenage years when he’s already given up so much? He shouldn’t have to choose. He shouldn’t have to consider leaving school and cutting ties with Taemin and Jonghyun.

 _Jonghyun_. What would he think if he knew the thought of leaving school had even crossed Kibum’s mind?

Kibum squeezed his eyes shut in a bid to keep budding tears at bay and he hastily wiped away those that escaped and fell down his rosy cheeks. He knew what he had to do.

With resolve and a healthy amount of guilt, he marched over to his desk and dialled the number he never expected to call.

After a few rings, a stern “yoboseyo?” came from the other end.

Kibum gulped down his fear and second (and third and fourth) guesses, and answered. “Hello, grandma,”


End file.
